Steven Universe Cringy One-Shot Madness
by danbob521
Summary: In a fanbase made of cringy fanfiction stories and drawings, only one man can save the day. And that man is danbob521. This is a parody compilation of cringy one-shot stories that has made the Steven Universe fanbase what it is.
1. Chapter 1

**You know what I really hate? How almost EVERY Steven Universe story here or on wattpad is so sappy. Some of you might be okay with this, but I'm not. So just to show you how pissed I am of cringing at stories, I'm going to create a series full of cringy one shots. Enjoy. Also, because I know half of the fanbase is going to do so, leave as much hate as you can on this!**

* * *

STEVEN AND CONNIE'S FIRST KISS. SxC

by Some Idiotic SU fan

(In Steven's POV, Because I can't imagine you would know who's POV it would be in just by reading it. You're welcome.)

I sat bored in front my tV set, bored. The Gems must have been out on a mission or something. I thought about making another Together Breakfast for them, just to show my appreciation for everything. But then It hit me that I had already done that before and I didn't want histroy to repeat itself. So I just chose to be a little snoozy and stay laying down.

That was until I heard a KNOCK AT THE DOOR! I thought that maybe my new chesseburger backpack had come in the mail. I had ordered it about 5 weeks ago, and Jamie still hadn't come.

But when I jumped to the door, I opened it and saw Connie! (I like exclamation points. They make me happy.)

"Oh hey connie." i said, kinda nervous.

(I also don't claim to be a good speller. Don't judge, plz!

hI steven", she said. "I brought a new book that I found at the door. I wanted to see if you liked it."

(Okay, screw it, I can't keep this in only HIS Pov, I'm gonna be an asshole and flip them a bit.)

Connie"s POV

I stood there kinda nervous. It was always nervous in there when I went to see Steven. But today I had a goal in mind. I wanted 2 kiss this boy. I have loved him ever since I first met him.

We went inside, and I showed him my book. We discussed it and were actually having a good conversation, until...I accidentally put my hand on his hand.

We both realized this, and our stomach's becan to churn. Suddenly, we both leaned in and shared a kiss. I was so happy inside. I loved him so much!

"I love you, steven."

"I love you too, connie."

THE END.

Remember guys to leave some constructive critisism in the comments! but if you hater then don't meanie!

* * *

 **Okay, I will admit. I even cringed a bit while typing that. Let me know if you want some more of this stuff. It's funny to parody those cringy stories. And if this works good, I'll find some other things to parody. And for the other half of the Steven Universe fanbase, leave all the hate in the reviews! HA!**

 **Seriously, though. Stop typing these kind of stories, guys. It's really cringy and it gives us all headaches.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I guess you guys loved the first chapter of this a lot, so let's get right into the second. But remember, these are cringy, and this one is even more cringy than the last.**

LAPIS AND PERIDOT'S SISTERLY LOVE

By UberSUFanGirl

(In 3rd Person POV, Because I know no one really knows what POV I write these in.)

Lapis and Peridot were sleeping alone together on opposite sides of the barn. Both were really getting in to their dreams. But suddenly, boom! Peridot woke up from a bad dream. Peridot got scared, because she actually thought that homeworld were outside waiting for her and it would be uber bad. She got up and whisper in Lapis ear.

"Lapis."

Lapis grunted, but was awake.

"What is it, Peridot?" She said in a groggy voice.

"I had a nightmare."

Lapis had every intent of saying no, but when she saw Lapis, she was amazed. Lapis looked so beautiful and sexy. So she say yes.

"Okay, but just for tonight. Don't make this a total one of your habit."

So Peridot lay down next to Lapis. Suddenly, the two went out of impulse and exchanged a kiss. They loved each other, and now they were showing it for each other.

"I love you, Lapis."

"I love you too, Peridot."

And together, the two feel asleep happily ever after.

THE END.

AWWWWWWWWWWW. THEY ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE. FOLLOW IF YOU THINK I AM RIGHT!

 **I'll be honest, this was NOT an easy one to type. I actually had to take a few water breaks just because of how cringy it was. If you enjoy this, stay tuned, because there are a LOT more of these coming in the future! And please don't die of cringing. I might get sued over it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is a fun story to write, no joke. And because some kids STILL don't get the message, I'm going to keep doing this for a WHILE. So enjoy the third cringy chapter!**

STEVEN AND AMETHYST HAVE HOME ALONE TIME

by CookiexCat35

(In Steven's POV because I like Steven.)

Pearl and Garnet were constantly out on missions. They liked to do things alone together, and that left both Steven and Amethyst alone together almost half of the time. It was a bit of a bummer, but they had learned to manage.

Today was no exception. The two sat in Steven's bedroom watching crying breakfast friends, waiting for Pearl and Garnet to get home. Then, Amethyst broke the silence.

"Hey Steven, I'm bored."

"Yeah, me too. But what else is there to do?" He replied.

Amethyst thought of ONE thing that hey could do. She that Pearl and Garnet would not approve of this, but since they weren't there, it was worth an attempt. After all, what had she to lose? A piece of the garbage in her room?

"I know something."

"What?"

"It's a game called, Making Out."

"How do you play it?"

"Like this." She pulled Steven up to her face and kissed him on the lips. Steven was shocked until he realized how good it felt, and then they started MAKING OUT for almost 30 minutes.

But then they heard the warp and pulled away. Garnet and Pearl were back.

"How was it while we were gone?" Pearl asked.

"Meh, not much. We just watched crying breakfast friends for the most part." Amethyst said.

"Ok, well, we're going back out to fight that creature. You two behave while we're gone."

"We will." Both Steven and Amethyst said.

As soon as the two gems left, the two went back to making out and they made out a little more, and you know what comes after.

THE END.

 **Okay, honestly, I had to end it there because It was getting WAY too cringy and even a little too graphic. Don't worry, though, because the cringiest is yet to come. Stay tuned for more of this, and if you have any ideas for what the next chapter should have, feel free to let me know. And also, for those of you who feel offended, leave your hatred in the comments. I'll be waiting for it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Intro Paragraph? Nah, let's just get to it.**

JASPER AND PERIDOT CATCH THE GEMS

by SomeOtherUser10

(Note: This would have happened had the events of The Return not failed.)

Everything was happy. The Crystal Gems had been captured, and the giant hand shot was on it's way back to home planet. Very soon, Yellow Diamond would have her way on the way that these truant gems were handled.

But in the meantime, the hand still approached the planet. And two gems were controlling the thing. Peridot and Jasper had finally done it, and they were both happy.

"We should be there by 0900 hours" said Lapis.

"Perfect. Having to wait 11 hours is just the thing I wanted to do!"

"It doesn't have to be so bad." Peridot said. "I mean, we literally just caught the gems we've been looking for for years!"

Jasper had to admit, it was really relieving to have finally caught the assholes that they had been looking for since the dawn of time. Plus, traveling with Peridot DID help out.

"There is SOMETHING I have been dying to do." Jasper said.

"Which is-?" Asked Peridot.

Jasper leaned in and kissed Peridot. "That."

Peridot just had a blank face for 5 minutes. "Alright, I'm going to bed." Jasper said. "Try to get home quick."

And thus ended the night for Jasper.

THE END.

 **The fourth cringy chapter is finally there. These things get better everyday. And 500 views within 5 days cannot deny. Once again, I am doing this for entertainment purposes. And to prove a point. Thanks for supporting this series, and stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really happy with all of the mixed attention that I've been receiving for this, so let's push it even further, shall we? Enjoy the fifth installment of this cringy series!**

CONNIE HAS A STRANGE OBSESSION OVER STEVEN

By PervertedUberFanofsu69

Connie lay alone in the dark of her room. She only had one thing going through her mind: her dear Steven. He was all that she ever thought about in her life. As long as she had Steven, she was happy. She just would have loved to give him a big kiss on the lips. If that would ever happen, she would be able to die without any regret. If only that could ever happen. Why didn't it?

Every night she had the same dream over and over again about kissing her Prince Steven, she even would wake up in a puddle of sweat sometimes over her dear sexy little boy. Day by day, night by night she thought of Steven. He was her Prince Charming, and nobody could replace him. Not even Prince Charming himself.

So everyday she would always be excited if she got to see her man, Steven. She would always look at him in the eyes for as long as she could. "Oh, Steven! Let's make out!" She would always want to see, but never had to courage to.

So life went on day by day, and she was always too scared to show her affections for Steven. So the two were always in the friend zone. Until one day that Connie worked up the nerve to ask Steven to be her boyfriend. But then, she saw him and he has a girlfriend now!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY STEVEN!" Connie screamed, almost bursting her own ear drums.

And everyday now, Connie is sad and EMO. But the thing is, Connie is YOU, and you saw the love of your life kiss another person and you are sad! AND THE DAMN SHOWWRITERS NEED TO MAKE STEVEN AND CONNIE HAVE A BABY OR I'M GOING TO THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM! aaaaahhh!

THE END.

 **Who else is cringing the lungs out of their body? This one was actually more cringy than the last four. But don't worry, because the worst is yet to come. Just hang on in there for a few more chapters, and the worst will come! Until then, stay tuned for part 6!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is the sixth installment! Enjoy!**

PEARL AND ROSE MAKE OUT

By sappyspahirerubygarnet21

(In Pearl's POV. Yep, that still exists here.)

Pearl and Rose sat on the beach sand, looking at the nighttime sky. Both loved to see stars, and every night, at least one could be seen. It would seem romantic to the outsider, but these two had chosen to forever be friends. Somewhat, that is.

Pearl and Rose then looked at each other, and realised something: they weren't always going to be together. One day, their gems would die out, and there would be nothing the other could do about it. So why not just get one thing over with?

Both leaned in toward each other and kissed. Rose had such soft and wet lips. Pearl could feel the texture of them as they touched her lips. It was quite exquisite. And even a little magic.

Both then, looked at each other and hugged. They would be friends forever, no matter what happened. Even if by the 0 chance that Rose met a man that she feel in love with and had a baby with and had to give up her physical form for that baby, Pearl would still love her. It would be a forever happy thing.

But what would be the chances of that happening? Oh, yeah. Um... let's just end it here!

THE END

 **I swear, these ideas just randomly pop in my head. Whenever I want to make a cringy one shot, I just go with the first thing that comes to mind. Well, once again, stay tuned for more of this. There will be at least 12 of these.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Let's just get right to it.**

JASPER AND GREG KISS

by anotherweirduniversefan23

(In Greg's POV)

It was a nice night that Greg was sleeping in his van. He felt so cozy, but as he was about to fall asleep, he heard a knock on the back of his door. It was a little poundy, as well.

He opened the door, and saw a rather muscular gem. Her name was Jasper. She revealed this to him without hesitation.

"I'm Jasper. I'm a Gem from another planet, and I have been sent here to murder you. My attractiveness is also going to help me out with this, I hope."

"Why do you want to murder me?" Greg asked.

"No questions." She replied back. "Just let me do this."

"You're going to kill-"

Greg was interrupted, as he was pulled in for a kiss on the lips by Jasper. Her breath mind of tasted like smoke, but it was really enjoyable.

And suddenly, Jasper realized that she was enjoying this. And she didn't have it in her heart to kill him. How could she?

So of course, there was something anti-climactic that occurred. She said something.

"Oh, actually, you aren't the one I was sent to kill. Sorry about that. See you on the flip."

And with that, she was gone. And Greg stood there confused.

THE END.

 **That's another thing a lot of the writers here do. They make stuff bizarre. Yeesh. Expect this kind of stuff a lot more in the series of this. And if you feel like I'm being harsh on half the fan base, then chill man! Y'all too sensitive and ish.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is the eighth installment of this series! Hope you guys like this one!**

STEVEN IS GAY

by trulyodduniverse12

Steven woke up in his pajamas. It was around 9:45. He had overslept. He would be late to get another one of those fresh donuts. But he still wanted to go and TRY to get one.

On his way there, he saw LARS. He seemed a little sad. Maybe he was sad because Sadie didn't want to be his girlfriend or something like that.

"What's wrong, Lars?" Steven asked.

"Steven, you wouldn't understand." Lars replied.

"Just try."

"Okay, well, I want to FINALLY be able to come out of the closet. I'm actually gay, but no one understands."

"Oh, well. That's not AS bad as I thought. Just admit it. Plus, I'm certain that everyone would be okay with it."

And then, the craziest thing happened: Lars pulled Steven in and kissed him. And oddly enough, Steven felt comfortable with it.

"I think I can do it." Lars said. And with that, he walked off to FINALLY admit that he was gay. It would be a big breakthrough for Lars.

THE END.

 **As cringy as this one is, I HAD to do it. Nowadays, LGBT situations are getting out of hand. And by that, I mean that It's generally okay to ship two female characters together, but not okay to ship two male characters together. The fan base would lose their marbles. Listen, people. If you're going to make a lesbian fan fiction, then don't criticize someone else for making a GAY fan fiction. That goes for everyone. Even in real life, those issues occur. Geez.**

 **But beyond that, I still hope it was cringy.**


	9. Chapter 9

**After a month's worth** **of** **waiting, here is the ninth chapter of this rather odd series. Enjoy.**

RUBY AND SAPPHIRE'S MISSION

By stevecornersorlovegirl87

Garnetwas off on her mission. It was without any Gems. But what they didn't ever realize was, every time she was gone she actually was unfused. And today, Ruby and Sapphire landed themselves in a jungle of sorts. This was because they wanted alone time.

"Hey good lookin," said Ruby. "You look ravishing today, you know that?"

"Oh, thank you." Said Shapphire, sounding turned on.

Suddenly, the two lost all sense of self control. They ran right into each other and started making out. It had felt good to be unfused and happy again. They made out for a good 60 seconds, before they let go.

"Oh god, that was an amazing kiss!" Said Sapphire.

"Let's enjoy the beach view over there." Said Ruby, pointed toward the edge of the jungle island.

"Ok." Said Sapphire happily.

And the two enjoyed their "mission" for the rest of the day.

THE END.

AW WASN'T THAT SO CUTE! THOSE TWO ARE SUCH A CUTE CUPLE. I LOVE THEM! DONT FORGET TO LEAVE LOVE IN THE REVIEW BOX!

 **Oh my god guys. I had been ITCHING to do one with Ruby and Sapphire. How the hell do people find that cute? They look like 8 year olds for Christ sake! These kids in this fan base have odd fetishes. Anyways, don't forget to follow this story, so you can notified when the next chapter is released. And please, if you hate me for writing this story, don't forget to hate away in that review box there.**


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys must really love this series, because it just hit 3,000 views! That means that this is the fastest growing story in the 3 years I've been doing this. Thank you guys so much. Enjoy this cringy chapter.**

LARS AND SADIE'S PLAYER TWO NIGHT

By theoddstevenugirl557

Sadie had told Steven a slither of the story. But she did not tell him the whole thing. The truth is, player two night was a lot more deeper than meets the eye.

The night started out normal. Sadie was at Lars's house. The two were getting into their game. It was quite interesting for the two to have such fun whilst playing a simple 16-but game. No one could really tell what interest lurked from that in an age where MS4 and DBOX One S were the big things. But hey, It was nice to be in the moment.

After about an hour and a half of playing, it came up.

Lars asked Sadie a question.

"Hey Sadie?"

"Yes, Lars?"

"Do you like me?"

"Oh, um..."

She was hesitant. It was hard to respond to this in a fully composed way. Deep inside she did, but she did not have the courage to tell him. Until he said his next thing, at least.

"Because I do like you. You're really hot. And your hair is my favorite color."

Suddenly, impulse control failed on Sadie, she leaned into Lars's face.

"Yes. Yes I do."

Then, the two shared a passionate kiss. It was amazing.

This truly was a special night.

 **I await the day I write a chapter that I can actually relate to. Seriously, you guys have colorful imaginations for writing these. Okay, don't forget to leave hate on this story. And if you like what I'm doing, which you probably don't, follow and favorite this. Or don't. Like I said, I love getting hate.**

 **Okay seriously now, bye.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is the eleventh installment in the series! Enjoy!**

OC GIRL DATES STEVEN

by (ah forget it, It's too hard to come up with a fake name)

P.S This is in in alternate universe. Enjoy the sexy story, plz!

Amy was so happy. She was finally going to get to date her lovely classmate Steven Universe. It would be amazing.

She had known Steven for two weeks, and she really loved him in school. It was awesome to see him in the classroom.

It was 45 minutes before her date with Steven. She was talking to his ex-girlfriend, Connie. Because she's an asshole who rubs the fact she's dating Connies ex 2 her fAce.

"I wonder if he believes in making out on the first date! I can't wait to meet him up at the restaurant later!"

"Why are you calling me for this?" Connie asked.

"Because I want you to know that Steven's boo bear is mine! Like totally!"

"Okay-" Connie hung up.

Amy was so happy. She was going to hit third base before the end of tonight!

As she was getting ready for the date in her bathroom, she noticed something.

*INSERT SHOCK MUSIC*

A zit! What would she do? Amy was so scared. She needed to put makeup over the scar.

(OKAY I CAN'T KEEP DETAILING, SKIP TO THE DATE!)

The date had been good. Steven and Amy talked and talked and talked. Then came the end.

"Steven?"

"Yes Amy?"

"Kiss me."

The restaurant was empty, the workers were not looking, and the two had finished eating their pasta with extra garlic. Suddenly both started making out. It lasted for about 30 seconds.

And then Amy woke up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT WAS JUST A DREAM!" She wailed.

Silly Amy. Steven Universe is a tv show on Cartoon Network. Not a kid she goes to school with.

THE END.

 **Sorry if I grossed you guys out with this one, or weirded you out, at least. This one was just a chapter I wanted to do to parody the cringy OC stories. Anyhow, hope you guys enjoyed it, and maybe even hated it. Or maybe even cringed so hard they clicked off the page. And remember always to leave your hate in- ah, you guys get it by now.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy 4th of July, everyone! I know just the story for today!**

THE PATRIOTIC CRINGY CHAPTER

By Hillary Clinton

Steven was scared. He was having a nightmare on July 3. He had a scary dream that somebody was going to build a wall between Beach City and the next town. And he looked like he had a toupee as well.

The next morning, Steven was celebrating Independence day with his friends. But he still seemed in fear. His father noticed his fear.

"What's up stew ball? Why you so down?"

 **OKAY, JUST A CUT OFF FROM THE CHAPTER. WHY THE HELL DOES GREG CALL STEVEN STEW BALL ALL THE TIME? WHAT THE HELL YOU TRYING TO SAY? THAT'S HE'S FATTER THAN STEW? WE ALL KNOW THAT, WE CAN SEE IT FROM HERE!**

"I don't know. I just had a dream last night that this guy was going to build a wall. And that some really weird blonde 68-year old woman would try to stop him, and be predicted to stop him, but fail. And he would be the ruler."

Greg turned pale.

"Steven. I think that you're thinking about Donald Trump."

Who?

"Donald Trump. He's running for president. And he's going to build a wall."

"Wait, what? But what about the woman?"

"Oh, well, Hillary Clinton, that woman you're thinking of is ahead in the polls. But America is crazy, so Trump will win regardless."

"Oh, well, how Will she lose?"

Suddenly, a blonde woman popped out of the sand. It was Hillary Clinton.

"BECAUSE THAT BILLIONAIRE EXPOSED MY EMAILS!"

Steven then calmed down. "Oh well, suddenly I'm less scared of Donald Trump."

THE END?

I SWEAR IF YOU GUYS DON'T VOTE FOR ME ON ELECTION DAY I WILL HAUNT YOU GUYS TO THE END OF THE WORLD!

 **Shut up, Hillary. Guys, I'm going to be honest, I hate both Trump and Clinton, but Trump is the lesser of both evils. Call me crazy, but a crazy guy is better than a psychopath sociopath. Or maybe Obama will get a 3rd term. I hate politics. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this. See you on the next chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FICTIONAL SERIES BASED OFF OF GENERAL STORIES. NO CHAPTER HERE IS DIRECTED TO A SPECIFIC ONE PERSON. ANY FAKE USERNAMES USED HERE THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER USERNAME IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTIAL.**

 **Okay, I took a couple days off, but now I'm back and ready for business! Here comes more cringe!**

PEARL AND GARNET: A LOVE STORY

by Motherloadborg334

Ever since the two had met, they were attached to one another. Even if Rose Quartz had led to mission to find her, Pearl took a huge liking to Garnet. It had been lasting for a long time.

But when Rose Quartz died, the two of them became REALLY close to each other. They had become so close and attached. Sometimes the two slept together because of all the tension in the air in the passing of Quartz. Times were tough.

But one night, that changed.

The two were falling asleep on the same bed. Both were beginning to close their eyes, when Garnet spoke.

"It's tough without her, ain't it?" Garnet said.

Pearl hesitated, but was able to blow out a response.

"I miss her so much. She was everything to me." Pearl responded.

"I know that things can be bad, but I can see a nice future."

"How?"

"Remeber, Sapphire. I have her. She is a big fuel in my body. Or whatever you would call us."

"Oh."

Garnet then gently groped Pearl's arm. It was unbelievable how soft Garnet's hand was. But Pearl liked that feeling.

"I love you, Pearl."

"I...I, I love you too, Garnet."

Pearl and Garnet leaned in towards each other, and exchanged a kiss. It was a soft sensation as their lips connected. The best feeling you could feel during a kiss.

And after that, the two feel asleep. Happily ever after.

No one ever found out about this.

Except danbob521.

THE END.

THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING MY STORY! THIS IS MY FIRST ONE, SO BE SURE TO LEAVE GOOD FAITH! BUT DON'T LEAVE HATE, OR I'LL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP!

 **After that chapter on the 4th I put up, I wasn't so happy with it. So this chapter you just read was to bring back the cringiness that you guys want. I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you so much, because this is now my second most viewed series, behind Finn Jr!**

 **And for those of you mad, leave your hate on that box right there.**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FICTIONAL SERIES BASED OFF OF GENERAL STORIES. NO CHAPTER HERE IS DIRECTED TO A SPECIFIC ONE PERSON. ANY FAKE USERNAMES USED HERE THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER USERNAME IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTIAL.**

 **Alright guys, we're doing two in one day! It will be Friday at soonish when this is up, I think. But still, the cringe goes on for twice in a row.**

PEARL X PERIDOT STORY

by pearlxperidotlver

The two were always thinking about one another. And now that they lived together, it was time to finally tie the knot.

It happened on an afternoon. When everyone was busy with something else. The two were all alone, looking after the barn. Then, Peridot came up to Pearl.

"This planet of yours is quite atrocious. How can you stand to live here?"

"I've gotten used to it. That's what you'll get after a few thousand years."

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Impossible. I will never fall for this planet. The people here are just...bleh."

Pearl couldn't help but laugh on the inside.

"That's just you."

There was that one moment of silence that you might already be used to. And then... it happened, time 14.

The two looked at each other, and pop kissed one another. Then they looked back at the world, guarding the barn.

"That was weird." Said Peridot.

THE END.

 **Sorry guys. I couldn't drag that one on. It was just WAY too cringy. Pearl and Peridot are from two different worlds. I just can't drag it on. This was my best attempt at that. Also, than you guys for 4,000 views on this story! We're coming in on my number 1 most viewed!**


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FICTIONAL SERIES BASED OFF OF GENERAL STORIES. NO CHAPTER HERE IS DIRECTED TO A SPECIFIC ONE PERSON. ANY FAKE USERNAMES USED HERE THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER USERNAME IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.**

 **Round Fifteen, everyone! I want to do something special this time. We're dividing today's chapter into two parts! Double the cringe! Enjoy!**

THE STEVEN UNIVERSE THEME SONG FINALE (PART 1/2)

by danbob521

When you think of a cringy song, what song comes to mind? You might think Jar Of Hearts, but actually, the cringiest song on Earth is the Steven Universe theme song. And the freaking creators of the show decided to expand that into 2 minutes. What kind of cruel people do that?

The show itself is cringy, the fan base itself has been divided, and Steven and Connie still won't kiss onscreen. Not that the 3rd one is a bad thing. And somehow, SOMEHOW, no one puts a stop to this. I'm sorry, but I can't take this. I wrote this story to prove the problems. And maybe fix the show.

But you guys don't get it. You have taken my side constantly, and some of you have criticised the fanbase a lot like me. I thank you all for that. This is pure support.

But it wasn't the point I was trying to drive.

The reality is, we will never change people's minds. We will never stop people from feeling how they do. But we have the right to criticize it.

And while nothing has changed or might not change ever, and while this chapter is the end of the series, I am proud to see that there was support for this. You guys are truly amazing. I look up to all of you. This series was a thing of both passion and love.

I might never be able to repay you guys for reading this. Please forever remember this. You guys are my everything.

Let's try to tell everyone in the fanbase about what we did here. I want to respect the fanbase by ending it all off here. No more aggressiveness, no more anger, no more sarcasm, no third season renewal...

This is the end...

LOL! You guys kidding? danbob521 never quits! I had you all scared there, didn't I? I'm going to do this series UNTIL the fanbase realizes that they're being cringy like the show itself! Guys, you know me. I will never do something like that to you. I love you all!

 **So prepare yourself for the most cringy chapter of them all on Sunday, July 9! Get ready for your goosebumps to hit 200 in double blood pressure!**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FICTIONAL SERIES BASED OFF OF GENERAL STORIES. NO CHAPTER HERE IS DIRECTED TO A SPECIFIC ONE PERSON. ANY FAKE USERNAMES USED HERE THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER USERNAME IS COINCIDENTAL.**

Here it is, the cringy chapter you all were patiently waiting for! Here it comes, get ready.

THE STEVEN UNIVERSE THEME SONG FINALE (PART 2/2)

by someoneonplanetearth

Jasper had been found by the gems after the leave of all the Rubies. It was a long capture and a long journey back to the field. Things were about to get REALLY complicated.

There was a rice bag over her head, and darkness filled her vision more than anything else. But then, the bag came right off of her head.

She was greeted with all the crystal gems, along with her recent friend, Peridot, and enemy, Lapis. This seemed like a big challenge. A fight against 6 individual gems would not see a likely win. So you could possibly imagine her current fear and hesitation. She closed her eyes, and prepared for a big assault on her being.

But that didn't happen.

"Congratulations, Jasper! You're a crystal gem!" Said Steven happily.

"Yup." Said Garnet. "Enjoy your stay here."

"We forgive you!" Said Lapis.

The 6 gems hoisted her up happily. And the episode ended with a happy 7th gem.

We are the crystal gems. We'll always save the day. And If you think we can't, we'll always find a way. That's why the people of this world believe in Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and STEVEN!

THE END.

Hey guys. Thank you for reading this story. I've gotten amazing support. This is a lot of fun to do. And chill, because I am NOT done with this series. The last chapter was a pure joke. I still have a lot more in the tank. Brace yourselves!

 **I will announce when Season 3 comes out soon! But in the meantime, check out the other chapters her** e!


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome back to Steven Universe Cringy One-Shot Madness! For the newbies here, in this series, I make a satire of just about ALL the cringy stories written here. For the next week and a half-ish, I will be posting parodies of cringe worthy stories, to try and get a laugh out of you. For all you sensitive ones, be sure to leave your tear filled hate in the review section! Alright, let's get into it!**

Connie Kisses That Boy

By uberduberfangirl85

Connie had a secret. It was such a bad one, that she was afraid telling Steven about would DOOM their friendship. But she knew deep inside what it was. Her worst secret.

When she beat up that kid in school, she felt really bad about it. And even though Steven knew she talked to the kid since then, she didn't know what happened in that talk. And something did happen.

Warning: Awkward moments ahead lolz. (It GETS CRAZEEEE!)

At school, she saw the kid. He appeared to have a cast on. She was going to talk to him, but he got scared and tried to walk away. So Connie walked faster.

"Hey kid, wait!"

The kid began to walk really fast. He didn't know what this crazy girl had in her mind, but on the same token he REALLY did not want to find out.

But Connie caught up to him.

 **DANBOB NOTE: Don't ask me how. She didn't run, I think.**

"Please don't hit me!" He squealed.

"No." Connie said. "I just wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry for hurting you the other day. I don't what came over me."

The kid became very less scared and more confused.

"It's okay." He said sheepishly.

"Can I ever make it up to you?" She then asked.

"I don't know. I mean, there is one." He said smiling.

"What?"

"I've never kissed a girl..."

Connie quickly leaned in and kissed him. "I'm sorry." She said.

"I forgive you."

THE END.

OH HOW CUTE I HOPE THESE TWO BECOME A COUPLE IN THE ACTUAL SHOW EEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 **And I don't. Jesus, the mind of some people here. This was actually a THING. People have recently been making stories regarding that episode. Well, I hope you enjoyed the start of Season 3. And there's a lot more where that came from, so stay tuned!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Another day, another cringe. Here we go!**

 **Warning: This one might actually offend you if you are under the age of 3 1/2. Just a heads up.**

LARS' SECRET

by trannylover83

There was never a day he didn't want to say it. How could he? It was a secret he'd kept in for almost a decade now. No one knew. No one could know. It had to be kept secret at all costs. The very fact was: Lars was actually transgender. It should have been obvious, but apparently not.

Everyday, he was treated like a male, by all 20 members of beach city. No one really knew his true gender. But as long as he was who he wanted to be, things would be okay.

That was until that fateful day, when all was going to be revealed.

Lars and Sadie were hanging out at her house in her basement. They had begun a game of truth or dare. The questions started out very slim, but then one came up that began the electrical current.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" Sadie asked.

Lars froze for one whole second. In that quick time he thought: "Oh god! Why would she ask me that? Does she know?"

He responded.

"What kind of truth question is that?"

"I want the truth on that." Sadie replied.

"What truth? You know my gender!"

"Then spit it out."

"Male."

"Wrong. Lars, I saw you in the bathroom earlier."

Lars blushed.

"Okay, I admit it. I'm transgender."

Sadie smiled. "That's okay. I like people who have weird secrets. Plus, that gives us a chance to both give birth to an individual child."

The two leaned in and kissed each other.

"I love you." They both said.

THE END

Awww! I love transgender characters! I kind of wish I was transgender!

 **OH GOD! This one was probably the hardest to do. Hope you guys enjoyed the cringe.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello, my frenemies. Here is the third installment of Season 3!**

Garnet And Bismuth: Everlasting Love

by ponybrony68

The day before the demise of Bismuth in the war a long time ago, Garnet and Bismuth were hanging out in the latter's room in the temple.

They had talked about a lot of things before, but today was the topic for something else. And that something else was what would happen following the war.

Garnet was crying. "I can't lose you, Bismuth."

Bismuth was stoic. "Trust me, Garnet. Everything will be fine."

"I...no...WE need you." Said Garnet, on the verge of tears at this point.

All three eyeballs were tearing up and unleashing. It was a very rare thing for Garnet to cry. But once again, this was a very rare thing to be happening.

"Garnet, don't cry. I will always think about you no matter what."

"But my future vision says that you'll be gone for a very long time."

"I promise you, everything will be fine. And if I die while bubbled, It's been a pleasure doing Bismuth with you."

The two began making out, even tounge kissing. Then some other stuff, happened, but this is a K Plus story, so I'll just say that I ate a waffle and wrote this.

And then, they cuddled and fell asleep. And Garnet never forgot about this night.

THE END.

 **Well, that just happened. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and look forward to the next one, because SPOILER ALERT, it's also very cringy.**

 **P.S- No matter how hard you offended people cry, I will not take this story down. ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Are you ready for the Presidential debate on September 26th? Yeah, me neither. Let's get right into the cringe!**

STEVEN KISSES RUBY

by ponygirl22

(Note: This story takes place during the events of Keystone Motel. Enjoy, pl0x!)

"You made a warm spot!" Steven chuckled. They were in the motel pool.

Ruby came back up above water. She was incredibly angry at Pearl. And yet Sapphire was being, well, Sapphire.

"I can't believe how angry I am!" Ruby said, fire developing on her hair. "She doesn't ever listen to a single gosh darn word I say! It's not fair!"

Steven didn't know much about handling relationships, but he did know how it felt to be lied to.

"It's okay, Ruby." Steven said.

Ruby fired herself up.

"OKAY? HOW IS THIS OKAY? PEARL TRICKED US, AND SHE IS ON THAT BED, FREEZING THE ROOM, NOT CARING, AND YOU TELL ME THAT IT'S OKAY!? IT'S NOT OKAY, AND IT NEVER WILL BE!"

Steven's left ear started to ring. Ruby sure could scream, that was for sure. It was so loud, the moon even moved a little bit.

But Steven needed to be rational. For Garnet, only.

"I know Pearl did what she did, but think about it, you're fused all the time, so doesn't that make fusion a lot more interesting for her?"

"NO EXCUSES! SHE LIED TO US, AND THAT'S THAT! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE PEARL!"

Steven actually was scared at this point, a lot of people had woken up, and lights were going on. People were going to leave their apartments to see what was going on.

Both exited the pool. If they didn't get lost pretty soon, all hell would break lose. And trouble would come for both of them.

"Steven, I've always wanted to do this." Ruby then leaned in and kiss Steven on the lips. Then she ran into the motel room.

Steven was left standing there, saying one thing:

"What the Fu-"

THE END.

 **The inspiration for this one came from me having a deadline and not being able to come up with a better idea before it ran out. But hey, it's pretty cringy, as I had a hard time writing it. Even without ideas, this show makes me cringe. I hope you all enjoyed it, and stay tuned for more!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Here we go, everyone. Enjoy the cringe!**

The Trigger Warning Chapter

By GREGORY

Warning: This Story Has Kissing!

Steven and Connie were relaxing on the shore of beach city. They were both in their late teens, Steven being 17, and Connie being 15.

Warning: Smooth Talk Ahead!

"Hey, Steven?"

"Yeah, Connie?"

Warning: Kissing Ahead!

"I love you."

The two started making out. And yeah, that's basically it.

THE END.

Warning: Bold Font Ahead!

 **Sorry for this one being short. I just really find it annoying the fact that all the cringy stories have trigger warnings. But don't worry. There is more to come! And it's gonna get REALLY cringy!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey, guys. Thanks for continuing to like and hate this story. Let's see if we can hit 10,000 views before the end of the year!**

Amethyst X Peridot: The Unthinkable

by meowmeow

It was days after the two had had their falling out in the kindergarden. But they had since patched things up. However, Peridot still wanted to make things right with Amethyst.

So that night, it happened.

Peridot and Amethyst were cleaning up the shed for tomorrow's shot at the drill. The cluster would be taking form at this point.

"Ugh, so much junk!" Amethyst grunted.

"This place is what you humans dump your stuff in?"

"No." Amethyst smirked. "Humans throw their stuff away in other places. It's actually pretty cool."

"Hmm." Said Peridot. "So what do humans do when they need to unload their disposables?"

"Oh, they go to the bathroom. It's pretty much a seat with a hole in it. No biggie."

As they were walking out of the barn, Peridot asked one more question.

"So what do humans do for love?"

Amethyst actually had to think about that one.

"Well, a lot of things actually."

"Like?"

"Well, they could do this thing where they, um, you know..."

"What."

"Hard to explain, actually." Amethyst nervously said. "But there is something else they could do to show love."

"What is that?"

"They kiss."

Peridot seemed confused. "What is kissing?"

"It's kinda this thing where two humans softly connect lips and make this squeezy snapping sound."

"Could you show me?"

"Uh..." Once again, Amethyst was floored on what she could do. But hey, Peridot was new to earth. Why not show her what kissing was? It's not like it would do any harm.

The two stopped. The nighttime sky grew dimmer.

"Okay, here." Amethyst said.

She leaned in and kissed Peridot. The kiss lasted for about 10 seconds.

"That actually was nice." Peridot said.

"I know." Amethyst said as she walked away, leaving the green gem all alone in the field.

THE END.

 **This one has all of the detail I'm willing to throw into one of these chapters. Hope you guys enjoyed it. This series is really fun to do! So because of that, I have renewed it for a Season 4! Thanks for getting all the support!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Nearing the end of our best season yet! Enjoy this chapter, or not. Once again, I can't please everyone, but I sure as hell can piss everyone off.**

Steven's Birthday Kiss

by Animegirl13

It was finally over. Steven had learned to accept himself. Everything was okay. So imagine what he wanted to do next.

Clearly he wanted to kiss Connie. After all, he was a new man after turning 14, and also turning zero again. Things were weird after all.

So the moment came when him and Connie were alone in the field. Now was his time to make a move. He wouldn't mess this one up. The time for messing up was over when he stopped being 13 years old.

"Hey Connie?"

"Yeah, Steven?"

Steven got a little nervous.

"So, um..."

Connie was able to immediately tell what Steven was going for. She had known him for a long time, after all.

 **(Well, Probably)**

Connie then smiled.

"Steven, if you want to ask me something personal, It's fine. I'm open to listen."

"Okay, here goes nothing...Connie, I like you."

"I like you too, Steven."

The two walked up to each other, began to blush, and leaned in for a kiss.

And then...

Steven's mind jolted. He pulled off.

"Wait a minute!" Steven cried.

Connie was floored. "What?"

"I feel like this has happened before. But, no, how?"

"Steven, are you okay?" Connie asked.

"Something is wrong. I feel like we've kissed before. But somehow, something is making us doing it again constantly."

"No way!" Connie replied. "That kind of stuff only happens in Fanfiction stories when the author is running out of ideas!"

Then, it hit them.

"Are we in a fanfiction?" They said simultaneously.

Just then, Greg came up to the two.

"Hey Connie, your parents are screaming on the phone to have you back. We should go."

"Oh, ok, Mr. Universe. Uh, bye Steven."

Steven was left alone standing in the field, wondering if he was in a story.

"Something is really wrong. I feel it." He said under his breath.

THE END.

 **Guys, he's onto us! That's scary. Anyways, follow/fav for a notification of the Season Finale! And if you're a hater, leave your hatred in that box right there! But if you're not, you might actually want to follow/fav. The next chapter should be interesting.**


	24. Chapter 24

**SEASON FINALE, EVERYONE! What will happen? Find out right now.**

Steven's Confusion

By thefourthwall4

Steven stood in the field. He was all alone, wondering what was wrong. How could have he felt like he had kissed Connie before, if this was the very first time it had happened. Or was it EVEN the first time it happened? How could he be feeling one thing but seeing the other. Something was wrong with the continuity of all this. **(And not just the fact that in the story like this one, continuity should not exist.)**

As he kicked some stuff around the barn, he began to think that maybe it was all in his mind. Maybe it was all a nervous thing he had because it would be the first time kissing. That seemed like a good explanation, but it wasn't really hitting the needle for him. This was something. It had to have been.

Steven thought of what it could be. Could it be that somehow his mind was being erased? Could it be that he had a dream before and now it was finally coming true?

Nothing answered it.

The thought was beginning to overcome him. He really felt as if he had kissed Connie so any times before, in ways that could make it on to r/cringe. The only issue was, it felt as if his mind had been rigged to not remember. Like as if he was some kind of puppet. Or at least a manipulated character. This was a thought that could not be simply solved.

"Hey, Steven, we could really use your help around here!" Amethyst called. "The drill is needed some touches!"

"Oh, ok!" Steven called back. "I'm coming!"

Steven began to approach the barn. But deep inside of him, there remained that sinking feeling of his mind being manipulated in someway.

But this would remain a mystery. For now...

THE END.

 **AND...That's it for Season 3! Hope you guys enjoyed this one. It was the most fun to write. I spent a week doing it. Thanks so much for reading. Until next time, I'm danbob521, and this has been Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness!**

 **-In Memory Of Clay Martin Croker (1962-2016)-**


	25. Steven Eats A Steven

**Once Upon A Time...**

 **There was a Steven. Steven decided to eat a Steven. Then that Steven ate a Steven. And the next Steven ate 20 Stevens.**

 **Then, Steven Took a bite out of a Universe. And the Universe took a bite out of Steven. And Steven decided to eat the Universe. And the Universe was Steven.**

 **And then the Stevens got even more Steven's and ate even more Stevens. And then the Stevens got some more Stevens and Stevened those Stevens. And the rest of the Stevens decided to join in.**

 **The Steven fest was turning very gruesome. So Steven had to step in and stop the Steven eatery. No one moved.**

 **"Everyone, stop eating Stevens! Stevens are not good to eat!"**

 **The Stevens listened. And thus, the Steven eating fest came to the end.**

 **It was a happy ending. And Cartoon Network decided to cancel Regular Show, Adventure Time, and The Amazing World of Gumball just for Steven. (True Story)**

 **And then danbob521 stepped in to say this:**

 **"STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGY ONE SHOT MADNESS, SEASON 4! Coming This November!"**

 **The fanbase is doomed.**


	26. A Special Cringy Chapter

Special Chapter:

Rebecca Is With Her

by Donald J Trump For President 2016 (#I'mWithYou)

Steven was happy. He was so exited. Today he would be venturing out into Beach City and having a lovely day, as usual. Everything would be okay. He was so joyful heading into town.

But then...

BOOM!

An explosion happened right at the center of town. Screams were heard from all around town. This was nothing but a pure terrorist attack. Steven was scared. He backed up.

But then, he saw a rather elderly woman behind him. She wore a seemingly expensive pantsuit, and her blonde hair looked really fake.

"Hi, Steven! I'm Hillary Clinton! Do you like the view?"

"NO! THIS IS MY HOME! WHY IS THERE SO MANY EXPLOSIONS?"

"Well," Hillary Clinton began to explain. "Last night, these people who called themselves ISIS asked if they could come into Beach City, and I said: 'Sure! We are all friends here in America!'"

"YOU B WORD!" Steven screamed.

"HAHA!" Hillary laughed. "ISIS are good people don't worry."

There were no survivors from the bomb. All thanks to Hillary Clinton and her views. And Steven and the crystal gems were forced to watch this in horror.

THE END.

 **Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness, Season 4.**

 **11-01-2016**

 **First of all, I am sorry for the Season 2 and 3 teasers being removed. Fanfiction updated their rules, and I couldn't risk anything. Now, for the message. Donald Trump HAS to win the election on November 8th. Hillary Clinton only belongs in jail. Trust me, under Hillary Clinton, America will end up in constant terrorism. Just because she's a female doesn't mean she gets a free pass to be bad.**

 **Thank you for reading this chapter, and get ready for a DOUBLE SIZED Season 4 (16 Chapters) next month!**

 **Update 10/2- On my profile, there is a poll. It asks, who do you prefer? Trump or Clinton? It will remain open until 11/7! So go choose now!**

 **NOTE: There is a big chance he could lose. So if that happened, then meh, this series will go on no matter what.**


	27. Chapter 25

**Welcome to the fourth season of this offensive series! So last time we left off, well, I don't really remember. Every season feels like I'm writing a new series. Let's dive right into it!**

PEARL AND THE PINK HAIRED PUNK MAKE OUT

by seasonpremierewriter'sblock

Note: This takes place after the events of last one out of beach city.

Pearl had hung out with that one girl for a long time now. It had been two weeks (LONG TIME!) since they had met, and the two had talked on the phone everyday following. Today would be different. Pearl was going to hang out with the girl in person. And then she would finally get to know her name, which it was odd that she didn't already know, because they had been taking for two weeks. Pearl really wanted to know this girl's name. And also, she hated to admit it, but she was falling in love with her.

The light blue gem thought about how she would greet the mystery girl when she appeared. Would she say hi and shake her hand or would she hug her like they were some kind of BFFs? It would have to wait until they met up at the big donut.

Pearl waled out of the temple, wearing her black leather jacket. It was very breezy, but then again, it was November. Everything changes about the weather in November. This was the month that represented fall after all.

When she arrived at the big donut, Pearl spotted Mystery Girl standing there. Pearl was blushing very seriously. But she had to man up **(BIG MIDDLE FINGER TO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS NOW!)** and talk to her in person once more. What did she have to lose?

She walked up to the girl.

"Hi, friend!" Pearl said.

"Oh hi, nice to see you again!" The Girl said.

"Did you miss me?" Pearl asked.

"Nah, I always knew we'd see each other in person again."

The two started hanging out very happily. After all the fun they had, both were laying out on the beach. Everything sounded peaceful. Well, except for Steven, who was pondering the whole town wondering how he could feel like he'd kissed Connie multiple times before.

"You know, you look really hot."

"Really?" Pearl asked.

The Mystery Girl nodded.

Then, suddenly, the two leaned in for a kiss. And their make out was very soft and passionate. And also very cliche.

Everything ended happily that night. Except for the fact the Pearl didn't get her name at all that night.

And Steven remained very confused about everything.

 **Hope you guys all enjoyed this Season 4 opener. Get ready for a big surprise. This one will be twice as long, having 16 chapters! Also, for those of you triggered fangirls, A) I will not take this story down, and B) Prepare to be pissed, because this season pushes the envelope harder than even before!**


	28. Chapter 26

**So who enjoyed being offended yesterday? Anyways, how are the fans of this story doing? Hopefully you are all ready for the cringe again today! Once again, leave as much hate in the review box down there as you can. I will be waiting for the alert to come in so I can laugh.**

Steven And The Stevens Kiss Each Other

by troytray43

The band of Stevens were in rehersal. They were ready to play for the annual Beach-A-Palooza. It was going to be such a big show.

But the main Steven had a really big thing in mind.

"Attention, all Stevens!" Steven said.

"Yes, Steven One?" Steven Two, Three, and Four asked.

"I think we all have to finally get a little bit more intimate! We are all going to kiss right now-"

';dfmdkln;lkvbfdnmoklnfdmobksnfdpgbkldmngb';kgdb

[gd'b lg'lkm ,fg;b'LNsZ  
N'gd\bsdg

mn's;LGmfn;Mgn;k'fm fg

Suddenly, Steven's mind went into blackness.

And then...

POOF. Steven was inside of a black realm. Then, he found himself floating.

"Looks like I had another fiction moment."

After a little bit of floating in the black realm, an implosion. Then, it was all white.

And after that, Steven was inside of an office. It looked very small, and a laptop sat on desk at the center on the center of the room. Steven starred at the laptop. On the screen, Fanfiction dot net could be seen. Clearly, this was a story.

Steven touched the laptop, and got sucked in, and once again, he was with the other Stevens.

"Ok. Kiss time then." Steven Two said.

"Uh actually no. Let's just perform the show. This was really weird."

And the band went out and performed the show.

But Steven knew that something was wrong. Something was really, really wrong. What could possibly have been going on?

THE END...

 **So what is going on? Why is Steven having these thoughts? And who will be elected president next week? We'll see.**


	29. Chapter 27

**I'm going to make a nice compromise of all of you. If Donald Trump wins the election on Tuesday, then I will end this series when the Season is over. But if Hillary Clinton wins, I will renew this series for a fifth AND sixth season. And TRUST ME, I DO NOT run out of ideas. Of course, if you like this series, you don't have to worry. I have a good feeling people will vote Hillary, the PC goddess. That's just the mind of half SU adult fans.**

 **Make your choice...**

Pearl and Jasper's Love Life

by Februarygirl20

It was a while since Jasper had joined the crystal gems. She had actually become quite friendly to the group, with the exception of Lapis. But the feeling was mutual, as both Jasper and Lapis hated each other. It was good that they fought, to be completely honest. It made them closer, in an ironic way.

But the one person that Jasper actually DID had a good relationship with was Pearl. Pearl and her had actually become good friends in the time that she had been with the crystal gems. As a matter of fact, Pearl was arguably Jasper's favorite crystal gem. There was just something about her that the orange-white gem found rather...attractive.

This event happened one night. Jasper was guarding the temple, when Pearl came out of the house.

"What are you up to?" Pearl asked in a friendly manner.

"Oh, I'm just guarding, as usual. It's just my code. Meh"

Pearl liked her stern attitude for some reason. But admitting that to her would be seriously awkward. So Pearl chose to keep her mouth shut.

"Oh, well, cool." Pearl said.

Pearl stood next to Jasper. But when she was standing there, something was odd. Jasper chose to put her hand on Pearl's. She would ask why, but it actually felt pretty darn good.

"You know, I like you." Jasper said. "Like, I like you like you."

"Yeah, me too." Pearl said.

Her and Jasper smiled at each other. It felt really romantic. But then suddenly, something even better happened. The two began making out, they made out for a few seconds, and Jasper began to grab Pearl. While making out, the two headed into Pearl's room and then...

Jasper woke up.

"DAMN IT! I knew it was too good to be true," She moaned.

THE END.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY CHAPTER I AM GOING TO TELL MY MOM ON YOU! I LIKE SHIPPING PEARL AND JASPER! they are cute

 **No. They are not.**


	30. Chapter 28

**So here we are again, everyone! Welcome back to SU cringy one shot madness! Trust me, you'll love this one. And by love, I mean that you'll really hate it.**

Steven Hates Harambe

by gettigal24

Steven walked down beach city trying to come up with any logical answers for his problems. Someone, or something, was manipulating everything so that way Steven could constantly go through many loops of weird stories. Stories that if they were portrayed to a viewer, they would find it super offensive. But this was besides the point.

Steven thought about many people he could ask. Maybe Ronaldo could help. He knew about many conspiracies like this one. But before he could talk to Ronaldo about this, he was interrupted...

by a weird protest group. They were all shouting out: "D!CKS OUT FOR HAMAMBE!"

Some of them actually had their, um, you know, sticking out. All this for a gorilla that could have killed a baby at a zoo? This world had truly gone insane.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?" Steven screamed. He immediately ran over to try and find Ronaldo.

Harambe mus have been so proud.

THE END.

 **I know i'm a little late on this topic, but still, I can't believe that people actually have pulled out their penises for a gorilla. 2016 has been a crazy year.**


	31. Chapter 29

**Here is another chapter everyone! I promise you that this one will only make you half mad. But you probably shouldn't believe me on that, because I am NOT a good person on my word when it comes to limiting my offensiveness.**

Peridot VS Humongous

By humungusuar

Peridot was out trying to buy some food to bring back to the barn. Steven had told her that the best food was always sold at Beach Mart. But unfortunately, he didn't give her directions to the place, so it would be REALLY hard to find. But not to worry, because eventually she DID find it.

As she entered the store, someone asked her a very odd question. This was a teenage female. She had her hair stereo-typically dyed red. She asked one question.

"What is your name?"

"Peri-DOT." Peridot replied.

"Huh?" The girl said in confusion.

"I said, my name is PERIDOT. Why?"

The dyed-haired teenager seemed to get really mad for no reason.

"Is that sexual harassment?"

"What?" Peridot screamed. "How would that be sexual harassment? Peridot is my name!"

But this annoying teenage girl would not give in. And boy, did she decide to put on a show.

"THIS GREEN IDIOT JUST SEXUALLY HARASSED ME!"

Everyone in the store looked at Peridot. This was quite the situation. The girl constantly yelled on and on like a starved for attention feminist and got everyone's attention.

Soon security showed up and had to safely escort Peridot out the door. Behind her, Peridot could see that other females were joining the bandwagon. They all were calling Peridot a pervert, and a rapist. Yes, I kid you not, a FREAKING RAPIST, for saying the word Peridot.

"Sorry, ma'am. These feminists nowadays are just ignorant. We hope you understand."

"Yeah, whatever."

As Peridot walked back out onto the road, she noticed something she had not noticed before. The Beach Mart was actually BESIDES where she was. So this whole time, instead of being at the beach mart, Peridot was at the B!TCH Mart.

"Oh," She chuckled. "My mistake."

THE END.

 **No, really, guys. Can someone explain to me how someone calling themselves humongous in that video sexual harassment? I can't believe that feminists do this. You literally say hi to a feminist and the LOSE their freaking minds! But hey, that's just the Democratic Party after all.**


	32. Chapter 30

**"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something to offend a feminist." -Peter Lloyd**

Steven Comes Out

by translover55

Today was a big day. Steven had felt this way for a long time, but he had never worked up the courage to do it. But today was the day he was going to do it. He was going to tell the gems the gender he had wanted to be his whole life. All along, Steven had felt like a girl. (For Some Reason)

Steven was going to finally tell his family. He was a girl. He had a male body and male genitals, but he was somehow a female. (Yup.)

As he began to walk down after calling the gems over to his room. As he walked down the stairs, the gems all stood in front of him, looking very concerned for whatever bad outcome this would have.

"Yes, Steven?" Pearl asked.

"I think I'm-"

BOOM. It happened again. Steven remembered. This must have been another relapse. He would never actually become transgender. This was another chapter in whatever cringy story he had been sucked into. This couldn't happen again. Tommorow, he would go back to looking for Ronaldo and finally putting an end to whatever series he had been forced into. Or so he thought, that is.

"Uh, Steven," Amethyst said. "You were going to tell us something, weren't you?"

"Uh, actually, no. I gotta go." He replied quickly.

Steven then ran out the door, and hunted all around Beach City for his weird fry-haired friend. As he scurried all around town, he was frozen. Movement was all but impossible. Steven was scared. But the fear only built up when a big blackness took him over once more.

And bam, there he was. In a hallway. The only thing to be seen was light coming from a closed door crack. Steven opened the door. When he looked inside, he gasped.

He was in the office. The same one he had been to before. But this time, things were much freakier. There was someone in the office, typing on the laptop he had seen before.

And then, after a few minutes of typing, the person clicked on a button that appeared on a screen, and Steven poofed back into Beach City, right where he was standing.

"Oh, no. It happened again!" Steven screamed. But at least now he knew that someone, or something, was controlling him. And it couldn't do it anymore.

Right?

 **So we're going to end the continuity part of this series here for now. But don't worry. It will come back in a few more chapters. I just want to get back to doing what I do best on this, making CRINGY chapters. Oh, but still, there is a big answer to everything coming. So stay tuned...**


	33. Chapter 31

**Tomorrow will decide this series' fate! Why do I have the feeling that we'll be doing this for a long more time to come?**

Stevonnie Has A Moment

by (You know what? I'm not going to come up with a fake name because It's just way too hard!)

Steven and Connie were fused once more. Everything felt fine. The fusion was walking around Beach City, happily gazing at the peaceful town. Then, they saw a random guy sitting near The Big Donut. He looked lonely. And a little bit sad.

Stevonnie decided to approach the guy, who when up close, looked very young. Possibly in his early 20s. Him/Her/They **(JESUS CHRIST, WHY CAN'T I JUST PICK ONE!?)** sat next to the man and immediately spoke.

"Hi. How are you? I'm uh...Stevonnie."

"Oh, hi." The man replied.

The two **(three?)** talked for a while, and then many things were found out. For one, the guy's name was Janner. Next, his age was 19. And also, he was gay.

Then, something else happened. The two **(three?)** shared a kiss. And they made out for a good ten seconds. They had been having a conversation about their gender confusion, and suddenly they felt like they had gotten each other. Then, they went on to start a relationship and got married and somehow had kids. They died peacefully in their 80s and were so happy.

In fact, Stevonnie changed his/her last name for it.

And Stevonnie never unfused.

THE END.

 **Oh my god. This one was CRINGY to write. Seriously, what is with all the PC stuff nowadays? Why is it that being transgender is such a big thing? Ok, man! We get it! You feel like the other gender! No one really cares. That is YOUR business. Don't bother me with it. To be honest, when Bruce Jenner (yes, BRUCE!)came out, some people said that he was brave for what he did and were so happy for transgender people. But meanwhile, I was thinking: "HOW ARE PEOPLE SURPRISED? HAVE THEY NEVER SEEN LGBTQ PEOPLE BEFORE?" Anyways, that'll be all. See you in the 2016 election special tomorrow.**


	34. The 2016 Election Cringe (Chapter 32)

**It's finally here everyone! ELECTION DAY. Wow. And I am also going to predict the winner. The winner is: ME! Write danbob521 on your ballot! It will be worth it! If I get 10 votes, I will give you all $1,000,000. Anyways, let's get right to the chapter for today!**

The Steven Universe Cringy Election Chapter

by jimsnob34

Pearl was nervous. Beach City was about to make a decision that would quite possibly seal it's fate. It was hard to choose this year. Mayor Dewy had ran for a re-election as Mayor, but so had Peridot. And these two were VERY unfavorable. Mayor Dewey couldn't keep private information safe, and Peridot was just Peridot. There was nothing else to that one.

Steven had planned to vote for Dewey, while Amethyst had planned to vote for Peridot, and Garnet chose a third-party candidate, which meant she was voting for someone who wouldn't win. But Pearl...she couldn't come up with someone.

Peridot decided to run for Mayor of Beach City because she wanted to build a wall to keep out any other homeworld gems from entering Beach City. How would the wall be payed for? Homeworld would pay for it. It was a really nice plan, except it wouldn't have worked out even if she tried. How could Peridot be sure that homeworld would CONSENT to paying for the wall? Well, every time that the green gem was asked that, she answered with, "Don't worry. I'm going to MAKE SURE that they pay for the wall. Just vote and it will happen!"

Of course Dewey protested that, as since the wall would be built on the beach, no one would be able to enjoy the ocean during the summer. Many people sided with him on that arguement. But that didn't mean Peridot had no support of her own. This Mayor election had caused tension throughout Beach City. People were beating each other up because they disagreed. The violence spreading throughout the town made it seem scary for either of the two to be elected. How would voters of the losing side react?

But Pearl had to chose. She couldn't NOT support someone. It was either more of the same unprotected town, or an idiot. Pearl definitely did not want a vote for either of these two on her conscience. But the acrimony in the town would have to end eventually. So Pearl made her choice. The lesser of two evils would have to be the safest choice.

Two days later, it was time for the Beach City 2016 Mayor Election. It was Peridot VS Dewey. They had been tied in the polls, and had been campaigning vigorously throughout town in order to win over votes. Many assumed that Peridot was going to be the winner because her rallies were usually filled, while when Dewey held HIS rallies, seats were constantly empty. The town would choose, however.

At 6:00pm, voting results had Peridot in the lead with 45% of the vote to 38% for Mayor Dewey, and the other 17% going to the third-party candidate. But around 7:00pm, things started to tighten. Peridot still had a lead, but it was shrinking. She now had 43%, while Dewey had 41%, the other 16% went to the thrid-party candidate. 8:00pm showed bad news for Peridot, when she lost her lead, now having 42% to Dewey's 45%, and the third-party candidate now having 13%. The night kept having it's flip-flops, until at 10:00pm, both Peridot and Dewey were tied at 45%, the third-party candidate having a messily 10%. It all came down to Pearl's vote.

And her vote was for...the third-party candidate. She just couldn't bring herself to vote for either of these two evils.

"Well," Bolf Wlitzer said on BNN(Beach News Network), "It looks like the final results show a tie for both Dewey and Peridot. Which means that they will have to SHARE the mayor's desk. And that about wraps up this entire election.

Pearl was happy. She didn't have to deal with anymore voting stress. Well, at least not until the next one.

THE END.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this election 2016 chapter! It was really fun to write. This was also the mid-season 4 finale, so I will not be posting another chapter until Saturday, and then new chapters will be up everyday from there until November 19th. So the question is, will there be a Season 5?**


	35. Chapter 33

**Yeah, I know. I forgot to put up a new chapter on Saturday. I had to rewrite almost every chapter in some way because of the election upset. I'm actually pretty glad. Donald Trump IS the lesser of two evils. I'm glad the USA isn't ENTIRELY crazy. Now, it's time to continue with this series. So will there be a Season 5 now? Hmm...**

Steven's Waffle Massacre

by DonaldTrump45

Steven had woken up. He made himself some Eggo waffles. They were going to taste so good. He could hardly wait to take a big bite out of them. It would be heaven coated in syrup. But first, he had to go pee. He had felt that really stunning urge one will usually feel that never goes away. Yeah, the need to pee is a tough one.

After doing his business, unleashing the Golden rivers from his bladder, Steven left the bathroom, also after washing his hands, and went to go eat his waffles. But when he saw the waffles, he almost vomited.

They were dismembered beyond reason. Why would someone have done such a thing to his waffles? And who did, to be more precise?

Then, Steven felt a hand go over his shoulder. He looked up, and saw DONALD TRUMP.

"Donald Trump? What are you doing here?" Steven cried.

"Well," Donald started to explain. "I saw that those waffles were going to allow terrorists to enter your stomach, and also not be able to keep secrets while in there. I took the proper actions, and butcher-knifed them."

Steven was confused.

"WHAT?" He cried.

"Yeah, it's complicated. But no worries, you'll be safe now. Also, there might be a wall coming soon, so look out for that."

Donald Trump then left the gem temple, and Steven went into the fridge to get some more waffles. But Donald Trump had taken care of those as well. He re-entered the temple.

"Oh yeah," He explained. "Also, I have proposed a temporary pan on waffles until we figure out what the hell is going on."

Steven was shell-shocked. But hey, better than being attacked by terrorists or having a country full of PC people.

 **This chapter was going to be WAY different, but I guess I started writing it too soon. Anyways, now that Hillary Clinton lost, who will be the next to try and stump the Trump?**


	36. Chapter 34

**Here is another chapter in the cringy series! I do it for you!**

Greg and Pearl's Kiss

by Troooomspets12345

They were very unlikely. She thought he was too incompetent. He thought she was too much of herself. But they had something strong for each other deep inside. And today, all of those feelings would be exposed. Well, to them at least.

Pearl and Greg were alone.

After starring at each other for a few minutes, they each leaned in for a kiss.

And no one ever knew.

THE END.

 **Before you complain about it being too short, I just need to say that it was just to cringy to drive all the way. At least you got something.**


	37. Chapter 35

**JESUS CHRIST! Trump wins and the whole world acts as if Adolf Hitler came back from the dead! I swear, liberals are unbelievable. This chapter is dedicated to every LGBTQ+ person whole didn't see Trump's post-election 60 minutes interview on CBS about how he said he would NOT overturn same sex marriage in the supreme court.**

Peridot's Two Years

by dnfoksvokdfmb;

Peridot was on a losing streak. Ever since being elected Mayor and getting two of the next four years, her approval rating was unbelievably low. 11% was NOTHING to be proud about, and there were days that she even thought of stepping down. And the worst part was that building the wall was taking WAY too long. And it was really costing the town, too. The debt had gone way up, and her approval rating, that was already low, seemed to dip even further.

But the worst part was that people were making up false lies about her. Black people were thinking she would deport them from the town and send them back to Africa, and Gay people thought that she was going to get rid of their right to marry the same sex. All this, when she had never said any of that. Clearly, some of the town was just ignorant and stupid. But that was nothing to comfort Peridot in anyway, shape, or form. They might have been stupid, but she needed to appeal to more people for a re-election, so she decided to employ beach people to help build the wall on the beach.

Then, that had some more problems to go with it.

Females were complaining because of the fact that they weren't getting payed MORE than the other people. The SJWs wouldn't stop protesting about the immigrant gems that were OBVIOUSLY destroying beach city when they came in and only had plans to destroy the planet through the cluster.

Peridot realized that this was just too much. She would have to do something to end the drama and settle things once and for all. She made a special announcement.

"Everyone in Beach City, QUIT CRYING. THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE HATING ME FOR FALSE REASONS ARE RETARDS! I WANT TO PROTECT THIS TOWN FROM INVASION, AND YOU WON'T STOP THINKING I'M GOING TO GO SOCIAL! SHUT UP AND LET ME SAVE YOUR ASSSES!"

The whole town shut up after that, and let her build the wall peacefully. No blacks were deported, and gay marriage was not overturned. Everyone realized how stupid they had been during the entire Peridot campaign, and voted for her re-election.

THE END.

 **Too bad that in America, most Hillary Supporters had their heads sewn to their assholes. For the last time, Donald Trump is not going to overturn gay marriage. He is not going to deport black people to Africa. Every person who says that is a retard. And for Christ sake, THE ONLY THING LIBERALS ARE DOING BY PROTESTING TRUMP'S FAIR VICTORY IN THE STREETS IS PRODUCING SWEAT!**

 **Anyways, stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	38. Chapter 36

**Here is the next cringy chapter. Enjoy!**

Amethyst is a lesbian

By Scottishgirl13

In her few thousand years of being alive, Amethyst had one secret she never told: that she was a lesbian. There was just something about females that she liked. And today, it would all be exposed. Garnet was about to surprise the purple gem.

Amethyst and Garnet were on a mission. As they were walking, Garnet spoke.

"I know that you're gay."

Amethyst jumped. "How did you know?"

Garnet smiled, then kissed Amethyst.

"I'm gay too." She whispered.

Then Garnet continued to walk down the path they were on. Amethyst was dumbfounded.

THE END.

 **Hey guys, I just want to tell you to never worry about anything ever. I have your back with this series. Well, some of you. ;)**


	39. Chapter 37

**Welcome to the next chapter! Getting closer to that last chapter of Season 4! What's going to happen?**

Peridot's Moment

by scroogemcduckling65

Peridot was under a lot of stress. Being the town mayor had it's serious troubles. So tonight, Peridot took a sip of beer and starred out at the sky. How was she going to handle he budget of building a wall? It would cost the town way too much, and any idiot knew that homeworld wasn't paying a single dime for it.

After a few moments of sipping her whisky, a big flash occurred. And then...It was all black. Peridot was in a black realm. After floating around there, she finally landed inside of an office. In that office, she saw a table, with a laptop flipped open. On the laptop, a document was in the middle of being saved. And then she was grabbed and thrown into the laptop.

Then, she re-awoke in her office.

"Holy crap!" She said. "What's going on?"

Then she heard a voice behind her. "We're in a story."

She looked behind her. It was Steven.

"Steven? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be in here right now!"

Steven ignored that.

"Just come with me. I have an idea on what we can do. Ronaldo told me all about it. If this is a story, the next chapter will be about Ronaldo telling me what happened."

Then, the two left the office, and headed off into the night.

THE END.

 **What's going to happen in the next chapter? We'll see.**

 **P.S- You think that there will never be a long chapter of this? You are wrongly Mistaken...**


	40. Chapter 38

**We're coming up on the end! The end of Season 4 is nigh!**

Steven Meets Up With Ronaldo

by chuckshumer54

Steven went to get some bits. He also had a plan to meet up with Ronaldo, who he had texted the night before. After eating all of his bits, he met Ronaldo at the top of the Beach City hill.

"So, you know anything?" Steven asked.

"Yeah." He said. "First of all, everything that has been going on is false. It isn't true. There is a real version of us, but It's not in this dimension. Someone has been pulling our strings, and we're puppets in this thing's mind. I know because he hasn't used me yet...I think."

"How do you know it hasn't used you yet?"

Ronaldo took off his hoodie, which revealed a tinfoil hat. Whatever entity controlled everyone else, could not have attached itself onto him. The tinfoil hat made him cringe-proof. Well, at least not in this story series. The show can't be spoken for.

Steven was silent for a few moments, then responded.

"So what do we do?"

"Well," Ronaldo began to reply. "There is ONE way. But you'll need to let your green freind Peridot know about what happened."

Now that Peridot knew about how Steven knew everything, because he had just now told her. As they went down Beach City, Peridot still felot very confused. But could anyone blame her?

THE END.

 **I think you guys might light how this ark ends.**


	41. Chapter 39

**Here is PART ONE of the Season 4 cringe-worthy finale! Hope you enjoy!**

Steven Meets danbob521

by Steven (And Gabe Newell, while he works on Half-Life 3.)( Just kidding.)

Steven, Peridot, and Ronaldo were inside of the Lighthouse. They all knew why they were there.

"So do you guys know what will happen now?" Said Ronaldo.

"I don't know, what?" Asked Peridot.

Ronaldo shook his head, and then finished his statement.

"Steven will be going to the real world. It's him he wants. Not us. We're just here for support."

Now there were a lot of things that he was willing to do, but going back to that place where he once was was NOT one of them. But his gut was telling him that he would be forced to do so, or face physical transferring. And he didn't wish to have Ronaldo's sweaty hands grabbing his body. So he chose to be the good man. What a tough person, right?

"Yeahh..." Steven said, having a little bit of hesitation. Off to meet the man, right?"

Ronaldo turned on his computer. It showed a Portal on the screen.

"Hop through it." Ronaldo ordered Steven.

"Huh?"

"HOP THROUGH IT, STEVEN, SO WE CAN GET THIS DONE. AND WHEN YOU SEE HIM, TELL HIM TO LEAVE US ALONE!"

Steven did as he was told. And...

It was all black. The 14 year old found himself floating in the same black realm he had been in many times before. After a long ride of twists and turns, he ended up in that same office. But this time things were different. Things were oh so different than before.

How? Well, this time, Steven was starring right at the person who was typing, and they were face to face.

"Hello, Steven."

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **The Finale Is coming Tomorrow! Get ready for a big mouth-dropping ending to Season 4!**


	42. Chapter 40

**Here it is! The moment you've all been waiting for, the Season 4 finale!**

Steven Meets danbob521

by danbob521

Steven starred at the person in front of him. He looked young, and very danbobish. But that was besides the point. There was only one thing in Steven's mind: answers to all of the things going on recently.

"Who are you." Steven asked the man.

"I'm danbob521. I've been writing the story that you're in. It was a fanfiction based off of a tv show in which you're the star of." Danbob replied.

"Wait, what?"

"Steven, you actually exist in a tv show on Cartoon Network. Your whole life is on a tv show. But I decided to alternate your world by writing a story, in which you and all of your friends do really cringy things like kiss all the time."

Steven was in awe. This explained the whole situation. This explained everything so well. It was no wonder why he had kissed Connie so many times before could could never seem to remember the last time that they kissed every time that they did so. It also explained why everyone had been acting so strange and in love with each other recently.

But one question was still there: why did Danbob choose to do it? Steven asked him why.

"Steven," Danbob replied. "In my world, the REAL world, people have done so many crazy things. We had a woman who was a criminal almost become the president just because of the very fact that she's a woman. People are protesting streets because of a gorilla that was killed to save a baby who could have died has the action of killing not been done. We have insane feminists saying that men sexually harass them by stating their name to be Hugh Mungus. The world is so politically correct, it's scary. And the tv show that you star in, and is named after you, is all about being Politically Correct. Great plot and story, but the characters are just way too off there. And the only thing that's WORSE than your show is half of it's fans, who write fanfictions that are cringier than the entire show itself. Do you understand?"

Steven was mad at first thought. This guy had manipulated his whole life in what felt like 40 chapters, because it was, of pure cringe. But then something hit him: Danbob had a point. Steven had seen it himself in the past few months. And if that's how things were in the real world, that pointed all to excusing Danbob to wanting to write such a thing. Sure, the whole thing seemed extraordinary, but then again, Steven lived with gems and was half of one himself.

"Yeah," Said Steven. "I get you. I live with Garnet after all. Political Correctness runs in my life as well."

But Steven had another question than just that.

"But then why did I start becoming self-aware?"

"Because I made you become self-aware. I decided that you didn't deserve the stress anymore. Because I've come to realize something. Being the very writer of the fanfiction you were in, I have learned something. There will always be insane feminists and SJWs in the world. There will always be Hillay supporters protesting because they feel like Popular Vote should decide the election. There will always be Political Correctness. But we can always make fun of it, and have a great laugh."

Steven agreed. In fact, he couldn't have agreed more with what Danbob had just said.

But then came the choice.

"So, now that we've talked. I will allow you to decide your fate. I can rid your world of all of it's cringyness, and return you back to where you came from, so you can live a happy little life, or I will reset your brain, and send you back to Chapter 1 of this whole thing, and never to ever remember this conversation, and have the rest of your life be cringy. You decide."

That was a hard one for the 14 year old boy. He dreaded the thought of being cringyfied, but his former controller had a point. Life would always have it's ups and downs, and all of it's Political Correctness, but you can't fight it, because like Donald Trump, it's invincible. So Steven made his choice instantly.

"I want to be reset and go back to Chapter 1." He said to Danbob.

"As you wish."

Danbob pressed a button on his laptop.

"Goodbye, bud." He said as a farewell to Steven.

And then...poof! Steven was gone.

Danbob was so happy. He no longer had to worry about writing anymore cringy stories and making fun of the world. Everything would be fine...

until he realized that now Steven would never have remembered this very moment. Which only meant...

"SEASON 5!" He screeched.

"GOD DAMITTTTTTT!"

I sat bored in front my tV set, bored. The Gems must have been out on a mission or something. I thought about making another Together Breakfast for them, just to show my appreciation for everything. But then It hit me that I had already done that before and I didn't want histroy to repeat itself. So I just chose to be a little snoozy and stay laying down.

That was until I heard a KNOCK AT THE DOOR! I thought that maybe my new chesseburger backpack had come in the mail. I had ordered it about 5 weeks ago, and Jamie still hadn't come.

But when I jumped to the door, I opened it and saw Connie! (I like exclamation points. They make me happy.)

"Oh hey connie." i said, kinda nervous.

hI steven", she said. "I brought a new book that I found at the door. I wanted to see if you liked it.

(In Connie's POV)

I stood there kinda nervous. It was always nervous in there when I went to see Steven. But today I had a goal in mind. I wanted 2 kiss this boy. I have loved him ever since I first met him.

We went inside, and I showed him my book. We discussed it and were actually having a good conversation, until...I accidentally put my hand on his hand.

We both realized this, and our stomach's becan to churn. Suddenly, we both leaned in and shared a kiss. I was so happy inside. I loved him so much!

"I love you, steven."

"I love you too, connie."

THE END.

 **So what did you guys think about that epic finale? I spent the whole month of October wondering what the ending of Season 4 should be like. Well, tune in in Two or Three months, or maybe even longer, when Season 5 comes out! THIS SERIES WILL NEVER END!**


	43. A New Year's Cringy Chapter

**I was going to wait until January to tease this, but I didn't want to let wait until this died. Enjoy.**

 **-DB521**

STEVEN UNIVERSE'S NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS

by SUCOSM5Teaser

Steven had to do it. Things were just getting too heated. This world was becoming too Anti-White, and people were hating on him for not being a minority. He had to step up and finally tell the world to shut up.

The news networks were all on him. And he was about to become the most controversial person in the world.

But once again, he HAD to do it. So here went. He stood on a stage and spoke into a podium microphone.

"Attention everyone," He began. "So recently, people have been a little upset about white men in this country. Some Social Justice Warriors have decided to start a little trouble and insult them for no reason. Sure, some white people have said and done racist things, but that's a select few. Progressives always say that we should live in the future, but then they insult white people, which proves that THEY are the Regressive ones that live in the past, and not white people."

Some people in the crowd began booing extensively. It was clear that Steven was challenging their very standing, which was good. That meant he had some power.

"So," he continued. "I have came up with things that SJWs should have as resolutions in 2017. And trust me, it's lovely."

The crowd was going wild, with half of people booing, half of people cheering.

"First off, Try to recognize that some minorities owned slaves back in the day, and were sometimes just as privileged as the whites you are trying to shame.

Second off, Black Lives Matter has never made a single person think of it in an over complicated way. We all get the message. It's the people that are IN Black Lives Matter that make the big deals about over complicating it.

Third, Blue Lives Matter IS a thing. Police Officers have the right to be respected for protecting and serving our country. Any Police Officer that abuses their powers and actually racially arrests people for their nationality is not a true cop to begin with. Bonus to that, only a few cops actually abuse their powers.

Fourth, about the word woke, well I kind of agree with the SJWs on the woke part. It's actually accurate. That's something that's okay. But don't have WHITE MALES tell other white males to do that in the videos.

Fifth, Mansplaining is NOT a thing. Quit blindly defending all women when you know that some of them start the trouble to begin with. Only idiots think of that to be an actual problem. People have disagreements. You have a problem, go cry about it.

Sixth, the Brock Turner situation has nothing to do with white skin, it has to do with the Judge being a complete idiot and not doing his job right. Yes, he may have done the sexual assaulting, but how is that the fault of all white males?

Seventh, learn that Beyonce is an idiot that is over-privileged thanks to Jay-Z. And just because she's black doesn't mean she cares about black issues. Also, you guys are intolerant to ditch Kanye West because of his political views. If anything, Democrats are the racist for only liking minorities who support them and not liking minorities who don't.

Eighth, Saying that you have black friends is not such a big deal. Some black people say that they have white friends. And if you think only whites can be racist, then clearly you don't live in the real world.

Look, I know that no one is perfect, but you SJW's could be a lot better in 2017. Learn to stop blaming a race for your problems. THAT IS if you even HAVE problems. Some of you are rich girls who live in your parent's mansions at the age of 22. Grow up, and learn to take things that offend you on the chin. And if not, then don't question why there isn't a woman president yet."

With that, Steven left the stage. And the world had a mixed reception to that speech.

But hey, at least that was off of Steven's chest now. But we all know that SJWs will never learn to be tolerant. So Steven's speech was all in vain.

What a pity.

THE END.

 **STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGY ONE SHOT MADNESS**

 **SEASON 5!**

 **01.20.2017**


	44. Chapter 41

**Happy Inauguration Day, everyone! Hope you guys are either crying about the fact that there isn't a woman president today or cheering at the fact that a man made fun of by a bunch of famous people is now taking office, being the one to laugh last, which means he's laughing best. Either way, the taste of the liberal tears have kind of gone dull in my mouth, which means it's time for SEASON 5! Enjoy everyone!**

STEVEN AND CONNIE KISS AT THE INAUGURATION

by glorbatrof66

The 45th President was going to be sworn in today. Everything would change in America, and Steven and Connie had been invited to see the man himself. They were standing out in the garden in front of the White House, where an overly-tanned Trump would walk into his new home. Donald Trump's presidency would be a rather historic one, but Connie was kind of upset. She had been rooting for Hillary Clinton. Steven secretly voted for Trump, due to the events of Season 4, but chose not to open his mouth. What would it be worth, other than possibly losing his very best friend?

As Perplexing as it seemed for Connie why Steven had even not had a problem coming to see Trump be inaugurated, she just wanted to see history be made, no matter what. Even if it was this man.

"Hey Connie?" Steven said to her.

"Yeah, Steven?" She replied. "What is it?"

"Are you upset about this?"

"No Steven, I'm not. I'm just...tired. That's all."

In any other case, Steven would drop it. But they were in Washington D.C. getting ready to see become President Trump. Connie made it clear who she supported. So Steven egged it on.

"Look, don't worry. Trump won't manage your future. You will. It's only 4-8 years, but your life is ongoing. Well, at least until you're in your late 70s or 80s. Heh."

Connie smiled. This was a sweet thing that Steven had just said. And suddenly the two felt the moment coming on. And within ten seconds it was all over. They had leaned in and kissed.

The rest of this viewing party went well.

THE END.

 **And thus begins Season 5. All I have to tell you about this one is that it's REALLY offensive. Like, more than the last four seasons. And kind of dark as well. So I pray, just kidding, I HOPE that you buckle up. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.**


	45. Chapter 42

**Welcome back to Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness. Let's begin. Enjoy this world of bad grammar.**

Jamie's Depression

by Connorlorn45

Jamie sat on his couch sad. She was so upset. It was so upsetting for him. Why did he have to be upset? We don't know yet. He was always becoming depressed, eating ice cream in his depression everyday in the tubs, so i ended up quitting his job.

It was because he was still sad about the situation with estelle, I mean Garnet.

So then one day Jamie decided to try online dating. He had gained about 15 pounds, and he wasn't willing to go any further in the weight gain. He wasn't a liberal millennial girl, after all. Or was he? It's hard to guess.

His date was ready. They met That one pizza place. It would be good.

But then he saw his date. It was Garnet.

She seemed to be dressed up nice. Her glasses were nice, too. Like, they were good.

"Have a seat." She told Jamie.

"Ok." Jamie replied.

The two sat next to each other on the table inside of the Pizza restaurant.

"So Jamie, I guess that I've changed my mind."

"Huh?"

Garnet pulled in Jamie and made out with him. The two made out gradually. It tasted so good.

And after this the two got married, had kids, and after 65 years of being together, peacefully died.

THE END.

 **I'm just too cringed out. Come back tomorrow for a little more. :)**


	46. Chapter 43

**Chapter 3 of Season 5. I must warn you about this one: it's REALLY delightful.**

Greg Is A Muslim

by musilator4556

Steven came out of the temple ready to go to The Big Donut and buy another fresh Donut like that one time he floated. As he walked down the stairs of the temple and but his fat feet on the sand of the beach, he looked to his left and saw his father doing something that was...well...rather weird.

He seemed to be on a carpet of sorts, and bowing down multiple times. What could this mean?

Steven walked over to Greg, his father, and stood there silently for a moment before surprising him. "Uh, dad?" he said. Greg leaped up shocked. This possibly wasn't the best place to be doing this. Unfortunately, he would end up having to explain the whole thing to his son now. That part he wasn't looking forward to.

"Oh, uh, Steven! Um.."

"What are you doing dad?"

"Well, son. This is kind of my religion."

"What religion, Buddhism?" Steven responded.

"No, not that. I'm actually a Muslim. I've been one for quite some time."

Steven thought about this and realized something. Since his dad was a muslim, did that mean that he was a Jewish person?

"Well, then I guess I should change my name to Steven Jewniverse now. Gotta go to the Beach City town hall! See ya!"

Greg jumped up to his feet and tried to stop Steven from doing that. "No, wait, Steven!"

But it was too late. Steven was now a Jew.

THE END.

 **It's all random, folks. It's all random. But seriously, why can't people make jokes about religion? They're all kind of funny if you think about it.**


	47. Chapter 44

**Enjoy. :)**

Steven's Gem Problem

by stuppystevo186

Steven happily was jumping around the beach sand, happy that he was now a Jew. Every single thing that a Jewish person should do was what he was going to do. He hopped around the sand, and lit up 13 candles. He was praying to Yahweh multiple times per day now, and his father was so cringed out that his son was having this mentality.

Greg approached his very changed son, wondering what was his deal. "Hey son," he began. "Look, I don't get your whole thing here, but I'd like it if you stopped. Jewish people are not Muslim."

"But aren't there people who are half Muslim, half Jewish?" Steven answered in response.

"NO! How could you possibly assume that? You can only have one religion! And religion is based on choice, not genetics! Mormon people have proven that to us with their weird choice of religion."

"But dad, this is funny! We can pretend like it IS genetics! That's what most millennials are doing these days!" Steven argued.

"Yeah," Greg rebutted, "But I'm not going to have a son like that. So you behave!"

At first, Steven thought of listening to what his father said. But then he remembered that he could find funny ways to prank his father in the funniest and most outrageous ways possible. So here came first thought.

"Nope! I'm a Jew by genes!"

Greg chased Steven around the temple. He hoped to tackle his son and angrily tell him to stop upon capturing the boy. But it was too bad that isn't what ended up happening. What followed was MUCH, MUCH worse. Worse in ways you couldn't possibly imagine. Steven would soon suffer the consequence for this joke. One he wouldn't soon forget. Or possibly, I don't know.

Steven had his father Greg chase him all the way to the very top of the temple, which was a woman gem. "Alright, Stew Ball!" Greg shouted. "It ain't safe up here! Come down!"

"No!" Replied Steven. "You're going to scream at me!"

"You're darn right I will! You're creating a ruckus over a freaking religion! Now get the heck down to the ground and I will address you!"

But Steven was not compliant to that order. He chose the route of the bad. The 14 year old turned around and jumped off of the temple, hoping to bubble himself before he reached the ground and keep running from his father. But he waited too long to activate the bubble and landed on his gem right into the sand.

"STEVEN!" Greg screeched in horror at the thought that his son had just fallen about 150 feet to the ground with nothing to break that tumultuous fall.

Greg rushed down to the Beach and turned his son to his front. He saw something horrifying. Steven's gem was shattered. There would be no time to mourn, however, and Steven sprang was conscious instantly.

"Oh, thank Allah you're alright, son!" Greg said, holding in tears of relief.

"הו, היי אבא!" Steven responded.

"Uh, what son?" Greg was now confused.

"אבא, אני בסדר." Steven said.

Greg instantly realized what had happened. Steven's gem had just shattered and he was now speaking in Hebrew.

This is Steven now.

THE END.

 **Here's the lesson kiddies. Never try to pretend that you have a religion just because you see that someone else has it and you assume it makes you cool. Also, there are no such things as Half-Muslims, Half-Jewish people, or Half-Christians. Also, Mitt Romney is retarded. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **P.S- Enjoy Steven's new language, it'll be here for a while. :)**


	48. Chapter 45

**So what's gonna happen in this chapter? We'll see...**

Connie Meets OC

by OCandconnielover65

It was definitely feeling like a boring day for her. Steven was nowhere to be found, and all of her calls and texts to him had not been responded to. Connie was starting to worry. Could her friend be in any kind of danger? That was her first thought, but she would have to shrug it off, as today was a Friday. Those days were always relatively good for her at school.

* * *

It was a long day for her. She had to do a lot of math and science work and the teachers were working her hard. **(Don't get a dirty mind.)** At the end of the day, she was really excited to just go home and try and call Steven one more time. What could he have been doing that was making it impossible for an answering? Maybe it was because of he inauguration and he was upset about it. Maybe a little more than she was. That could have been a REASONABLE explanation for everything, but Steven was really good at handling his emotions. This was something that no one could deny. **(Except for everyone who has seen Steven Universe on TV before. He cries over cookie cats.)**

Connie was walking home. While she walked, she sent Steven text after text.

"Steven, where are you?"

"Answer this text!"

"ANSWER! WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER!"

Just when she was about ready to throw in the towel, Steven miraculously responded. Connie was relieved. "You have one new text message." Her cellphone notified her, vibrating in her right hand.

But when she checked the message, something was wrong.

"אה היי. מה שלומך?" The text read.

"What the?" Connie said shocked.

At first she thought Steven was playing a joke. Unfortunately, she would not be able to respond, because suddenly she ended up bumping into someone. Take that as a lesson to not text and walk.

"Oh crap! Sorry!" Connie said.

"No worries, it's fine." The other person replied.

He appeared to be her age. He had light blond hair and a clear white face. The guy actually appeared to be cute.

"What's your name?" She asked him.

"Edwin."

"Connie."

The two shook hands. It was an incredibly awkward moment.

"So, are you from here?" Connie asked him.

"I've lived here my whole life." Edwin chuckled.

Connie chose that she didn't want to entertain this any longer. But then she fared the thing even lower.

The two hugged each other, and then went their own separate ways. Geez, why did Connie have to be such an awkward person? But she would have to shrug this one off for now. What was wrong with Steven?

THE END.

 **The only thing more cringy than kissing is hugging. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. And for those wondering, this season will have 12 chapters. Good luck surviving. There's more offensiveness to come. Get ready.**


	49. Chapter 46

**Thanks to all of you, this story is trending upwards every single day. We're about to close in on 20,000 total views. That's INSANE. Anyways, here's the chapter. Hope you all enjoy.**

Amethyst And Pearl's Love

by purpleblue55

The arguments happened almost every single day. Pearl and Amethyst were so in love with one another, but it was hard for either of them to express their feelings towards one another. With all the arguments, it was too hard for them to talk blissfully. But love knows no bounds, and right now there was a happy little coming: Steven was with Greg for a bit. Greg said that Steven was having some problems and that he needed to be with his dad for a while.

"Greg, Steven belongs home with us." Pearl said.

"Trust me, right now, he wants to be with me." Greg said back.

"Is there something wrong, Greg? You seem kind of nervous."

"Nope! Absolutely not! Steven just needs some father and son time. Everything will be alright!"

"Ok. Can I say goodbye to him at least?"

Greg got nervous. Steven STILL was talking in Hebrew, and he couldn't talk in English no matter what was tested. He could only imagine the freak outs coming from the gems in response to this. So he chose the hard route.

"It's a little too late for that. He's already in the van having a good time. He's thrilled to get on with our father and son time!"

Pearl knew that there was something up Greg's sleeve, but then again, he had no sleeves on his shirt. It would end up being a drastic decision, but she let Greg go with no further questions. After all, what could POSSIBLY be wrong?

"Just bring him back by next week." Pearl ordered Greg.

"You got it!" And with that, Greg was running down the Beach. The work was now only beginning, as he would have to fix Steven with his little issue. This left Pearl and Amethyst all alone, as Garnet was off with her newly acquired boyfriend. Was this a miracle, or just something as a hit and miss?

Amethyst spawned into the temple and went into the kitchen looking for cheese doodles. After her working out in her room, a.k.a sleeping and using the bathroom, she was starving to a mild extent.

"Uh, Amethyst, it appears that you and me are going to me the only ones home for a while." Pearl told the purple gem.

"Really? Why would that be?" Amethyst said, burping loudly as she ate a handful of cheese doodles. The doodles tasted so good, she could live with eating only them.

"Well, Steven is out with his father, and Garnet is spending some time with Jamie. So you and I are home alone. Though, I don't know how long it will be."

The two just silently looked at each other. After a few seconds of this eye contact. Amethyst broke the silence.

"Well, I'm heading to my room. Hope you enjoy doing whatever out here."

As Amethyst disappeared once more through the spawner, Pearl had a strange thought. Maybe she could check what Amethyst did in her room all alone. It seemed kind of like a pervert's job, **but this series has taken away the bar for anything pertaining to that.** So what was wrong with checking her frenemy's part of the temple?

Pearl jumped into the teleporter and poofed right into Amethyst's room. The room looked like a dump, but had a rather pleasant smell. It kind of smelled like a rose. How ironic.

After walking around the dump-like room, going after pile of garbage after pile of garbage, Pearl found Amethyst laying down on her bed, munching on her cheese doodles still. Unfortunately, it wasn't too long before Amethyst saw Pearl looking at her. She thought about running away for a split second, but was surprised at what happened next.

"You can come here." Amethyst said to her. "I'm bored."

"Oh, uh, okay." Pearl stepped into the area where Amethyst was laying in. "So, um, you seem to have a really messy room here."

"Thanks." The Purple Gem replied.

"Why is it like this?"

"Because I don't feel like cleaning it, Pearl! Duh! I thought you were smart!"

The two started up a conversation that lasted a while. After about 45 minutes, the juicy parts came in.

"So," Amethyst said. "Are we really going to be alone together for a little while?"

"I guess so, yeah." Pearl replied. "It would appear so."

Amethyst leaned in closer to Pearl.

"You wanna do something a little special?" Amethyst seductively asked.

"Uh, sure." Pearl sheepishly responded.

Amethyst pulled in Pearl and began making out with her. The two were kissing uncontrollably, some tongue action involved.

 **UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS A K PLUS STORY, SO I CAN'T REALLY GO INTO DETAIL OF WHERE IT WENT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.**

Things were going to be okay for those two. For now. They loved each other, and now it was all going to be good.

THE END.

 **Oh god, I couldn't continue typing that one because it was getting too cringeworthy for even ME to write. And I've been doing this since 2016. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This one was a long time coming. Also, get used to this, because I have decided to renew this series for a sixth, and SEVENTH season today. This is going to go on for a while, so get used to me. I'm not going anywhere.**


	50. Chapter 47

**Welcome back. Let's see what happens in the second half of the season...**

Steven The Hebrew Speaker

by sherkolantern45

"Come on Steven!" Greg screamed. "Please tell me this is a prank and cut it the heck out!"

"אבא, אין שום דבר פסול. אני מרגיש בסדר גמור." Steven responded, very confused at what the way his father was acting, as he was oblivious to everything. His shattered gem was not a concern of his, since it wiped his memory.

Greg was running out of ideas. No one would understand that a kid was reasonably in this much of an injury. But he BADLY needed someone who could help.

"BOOM BOOM BOOM!" There was a big knock on the back door of the van. Greg gasped loudly. Did Pearl come back to search for him? How did she get to the car wash that quickly? For a second he thought he could quiet down and fool whoever was out there.

"Mr. Universe! It's Connie! Is Steven there?"

Greg breathed a sigh of relief and opened the back door. "Connie, thank goodness it's you! Steven's talking in this strange other language, and he won't stop! I think it's because I cracked his gem!"

"היי חבר. מה שלומך היום?"

"Yeah, this isn't normal." Connie said, kind of spooked at her friend's language change. "How did this begin?"

"He said he wanted to become Jewish and then later jumped off of the temple...um...for some reason," Greg explained. "And now he can't speak in English!"

Connie once again starred at her friend and remembered the text message. Maybe if she checked her language detector app on her phone, she would know what language Steven was speaking and figure something out.

After checking on her phone, it turned out that the language Steven was speaking was Hebrew. It was a language native to Isreal, that Jewish people there still speak in 2017. Connie explained this to Greg, and now they both knew the problem. Steven had convinced himself to become Jewish and now that his gem cracked he had had the language printed into his brain. The question was, how could this be fixed?

"We have to convince Steven to spit on his gem." Connie told Greg. "Maybe that will fix him."

"Okay. Please Allah, let this work." Greg replied. That confused Connie but she didn't have time to ask what that Allah thing was all about.

Unfortunately they had talked for too long and when they looked back into the van, Steven was gone.

TO BE CONTINUED.

 **If you like this story, be sure to follow/favorite the story so you can get a notification on the next chapter. Also, brace yourselves, because it gets a LOT more interesting from here.**


	51. Chapter 48

**Welcome to Chapter Eight of Season 5! We're almost there!**

Steven Terrorizes Beach City

by stuppydooper45

"OH NO!" Greg screeched in horror. "Where's Steven? He was just here! We're screwed, we're...I'M SO FREAKING SCREWED!"

Connie was so calm, however. But she had a lot of worry that would have to stay put for now. Things were frightening at the current moment. A kid who no longer knew how to speak English, and people might become scared of him, should they have eye contact with him. They had to find him.

"Mr. Universe," Connie suddenly stated. "We're gonna find him. Don't worry. I think I know where he went."

"Where would that be?!" Greg exclaimed, still very panicked as you may tell.

"The Big Donut."

The two headed towards there.

* * *

"Oh hey Steven? How you doing?" Sadie asked.

"היי! אני רוצה חתול עוגייה חדש נחמד וטעים."

Sadie raised her eyebrows. Her friend had just spoken in the weirdest language she'd heard in her entire life.

"What did you just say?" Sadie began walking around her front desk to Steven.

Steven had no idea what her deal was. All he wanted was a nice desert. He'd been starving after that harsh fall. However, it looked like this wouldn't be the time for him to taste one of his vigorously tasty cookie cats.

"למה אתה מתנהג ככה?" Steven asked, now scared. Sadie's eyes turned angry. The were blazing hot fire red.

You see, it wasn't the fact that Steven was talking this way that was making Sadie angry. What was making Sadie mad can be explained in the paragraph below.

When Steven's gem became cracked, it had inherited a issue where it not only made Steven speak in Hebrew, but made everyone that wasn't the other gems, his dad, or Connie, the closest people to him, want to murder him. The reason for this was because of an unknown glitch that in his gem that can't be explained in this paragraph. **Because I'm too lazy to put think up a good explanation.**

"I'm going to murder you, you Jew!" Sadie yelled. She grabbed Steven by the shirt collar and began to drag him into the kitchen on the floor. But before she could continue to do whatever she was going to do, the entrance door burst open. It was Connie and Greg.

"Let go of him!" Connie ordered to Sadie before grabbing a heavy box randomly appearing on the floor and hitting the short blond chubby girl on the scalp. This was enough to knock her out.

"Jesus, Steven! Why would you come in here?" Greg yelled.

"למה היא רוצה להרוג אותי?" Steven tearing said. It was clear he was hurt. " חשבתי שהיא חברה שלי."

Connie hugged her now Hebrew friend. She was relieved to have found him again. Then, the two kissed each other for a brief second.

After this, they left The Big Donut. But then came an issue. The trio wouldn't realize the problem until they were walking back to the car wash.

Greg was the first to see.

"Um, guys?" He said. "There's a HUGE problem."

"We have SO MANY problems at the moment, Mr. Universe! Which one would you happen to be talking about?" Connie responded, kind of annoyed.

"Look to your right. Then to your left."

Connie, along with Steven too, did as he told, and was able to tell that things were now going to get REALLY bad. More bad than anything before. So, so bad. Words couldn't describe how terrible things were about to get.

Everyone in town was approaching the three, with torches and pitchforks. And they were all chanting the same thing.

"GET THE JEWISH KID!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **The season may be winding down, but things are REALLY starting to get interesting. Enjoy these next four chapters.**


	52. Chapter 49

**This one will be kind of short, but don't worry. It's important.**

Garnet's Call

by...someone. I have fake name writer's block.

Garnet and Jamie were on top of the biggest cliff in Beach City, looking up at the clouds. Things were so beautiful. The two were holding each other's hand, and smiling uncontrollably.

"I really love you, Garnet." Jamie said.

"I really love you, too." Garnet replied.

The two were about to kiss once more, and they would have, but then...

*RING!*

Garnet's built in hand phone rang. She picked it up, and a hologram of Connie's face appeared. She appeared to be very terrified.

"GARNET! IT'S CONNIE! GET OVER TO THE CAR WASH! THERE'S A BIG PROBLEM, AND IT INVOLVES STEVEN! PLEASE!"

Then the hand hung up.

"Oh, man." Garnet said. "I guess I have to go take care of business for now. See you later...babe."

Garnet jumped off the hill and began to race into beach city, leaving Jamie alone on the top of the hill.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **Yeah, once again, sorry for the short chapter. But don't worry. The fun continues in the next chapter. Thanks for reading this one! And if you like this story, Favorite/Follow it for a notification of the next chapter. And follow me for an update on any new story.**

 **DANBOB521 OUT! For now...**


	53. Chapter 50

**Enjoy this chapter!**

Steven Is Jesus

by anotherfakename

Steven, Connie, and Greg were being dragged by the back of their shirts down the pavements, and into the dock of of the beach, where they saw three big crosses.

"Oh no!" Screamed Connie. "Steven, spit on your gem! Heal it!"

Connie hoped Steven would do this, but he had no idea that his gem had been cracked. For him, he assumed that Connie was just being crazy. There appeared to really be no problem going on with it in his head. But he was scared of all the people taking up to cross with the reddest faces in the world.

The town hoisted all three up on their crosses. Connie, Steven, and Greg respectively. Everyone had pitchforks up to the three.

"Crucify them, and start with the Jew Boy in the middle!" Shouted Sadie. Everyone did what they were told and approached Steven angrily with their pitchforks. They were ready to start stabbing away. And Steven really thought that this was the end. But why was all of this happening? In his mind, Steven was speaking proper English, so what could have been wrong? Steven made one final attempt to set things straight.

"אנא תרחם!" He barracked, in tears now, heartbroken by the fact that all of his friends were treating him like the new Jesus.

That only seemed to make things worse, though. Everyone wanted to kill him even MORE now. Everything was hopeless, it seemed.

But then, an explosion occurred that made everyone get swiped off their feet. Now someone was there that could help. It was Garnet.

"Come on everyone, let's go!" She untied all three of them and took them all back to the temple. It was time to make somewhat of an attempt of fixing this mess.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **Two more chapters! What will happen? Hope you tune in for the next one! And if this Season has offended you in any way, shape, or form, then once again feel free to leave all of your hate in the box below.**


	54. Chapter 51

**Welcome to the Penultimate Chapter of Season 5!**

Steven's Gem Problem

by truthtellerorwhatever66

"Steven, talk to me." Garnet said. Her, Steven, Connie, Greg, Pearl, and Amethyst had gathered in the temple.

"אני מדבר! למה כולם מתנהגים כאילו זה לי?" He angrily exclaimed. It was becoming a big hassle for him at this point. Somewhere in Steven's mind, he felt like the whole town was bothering him because of his random and bizarre choice of religion. But at this point it was too much to bear. It was WAY too much to bear. Someone needed to answer. And now.

"Steven," Garnet explained. "You aren't speaking in English. You're speaking in Hebrew. Speak in English."

Steven was not amused by this? How could Garnet be in on this joke, as well? "צאו עם המשחק המטופש שלך! אני מדבר אנגלית!" He ordered to the red gem.

She turned back at Greg and Connie.

"Why is he speaking like this?" She demanded to know.

"Well," Connie began to explain. "It's-"

"IT'S MY FAULT!" Greg interrupted. "I WAS PRAYING IN MUSLIM FASHION AND HE SAW ME AND ASSUMED HE WAS GENETICALLY A JEW LIKE SOME RETARD! THEN I CHASED HIM AROUND THE TEMPLE WHEN HE KEPT EGGING IT ON, AND THEN JUMPED OFF THE TOP AS A JOKE. BUT IT CRACKED HIS GEM, AND NOW HE CAN'T STOP SPEAKING IN THAT LANGUAGE!"

Garnet was mad that Greg had been so careless with Steven, but she couldn't help but snicker a little bit, as did Pearl and Amethyst. Seriously, since when has someone assumed that they're a Jew because of a parent being a Muslim? **(A lot of people, sadly.)**

"Well," Garnet continued after laughing, "looks like Steven will need to spit on his gem."

"Yeah, that won't work." Said Connie.

"Why not?" Garnet asked.

"Because we asked him to do it before and he didn't do it. He somehow sees his cracked gem as not flawed. It won't work."

Connie's point upset Garnet. Because now she was going to have to call up a man who she didn't really want to have to speak to. Someone who had every single person's spit sample in the entire country.

"Looks like there's only one person who can help Steven, then." She said with a grunt afterward.

"Who?" Asked Pearl.

"SIGH...President Trump."

Everyone gasped. Well, all except for Connie.

"Somehow I knew that the first chapter of this season was going to be important." She said.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **The Season 5 finale is coming up next! Hope you enjoy what happens!**


	55. Chapter 52

**The end is finally here! And I wonder what will happen...**

You Can't Hebrew Stump President Trump

by danbob521

This past week and a half had been stressful for President Trump. He didn't know what he was doing in the Oval office. Every day he had to briefed, sign executive orders, and went to bed stressful. (And alone since Melania and Barron were still in New York until the summer.) And it would be a few weeks before he could focus on building his wall. Everything was boring.

So today, he sat in his Oval office, bored as rock. Trump liked to draw weird stick figures on his notebook while he was on freetime. (Which was a lot of times.) As much as it was hard to admit, the 45th president kind of wished he was back home hosting The Apprentice and Beauty Pageants. Instead, he was in Washington D.C., a city that hated him so badly, where nothing fun ever happened. But today, something different would happen. He would actually have to save someone's life. DONALD TRUMP would have to save someone's life.

POOF!

The Crystal Gems, Greg, Connie, and Steven had warped into the Oval Office.

"Who are you people?" He asked in confusion and awe at the fact that there weird aliens in his office.

"President Trump," Garnet said. "We need a favor from you. Do you have the spit samples that every president of the United States has of every person in the country? We need the sample for Steven Universe."

Trump knew exactly what Garnet was talking about, but he wasn't just going to give his possessions (the government's) to the gems unless he knew what they wanted it for.

"What do you need my YUGE Universe sample for?"

"Well," Connie began to explain. "Steven, our friend here, somehow turned into a Hebrew and his spit can reverse that."

President Trump somehow bought it.

"So be it!" With that, he gave the sample over to the Crystal Gems.

And then, they were gone.

"Well, looks like everything is back to normal!" Steven said. "Yup!" Connie replied.

The two were sitting on the former's bed.

"Hey Connie?" Steven asked.

"Yeah, Steven?"

"I have a confession to make."

"What is it?"

"I actually supported Trump during the election."

Connie left after that. The two were no longer friends. And Connie ended up dating Edwin. Thus ends this season.

THE END.

 **How did you guys like this season? Did it offend you? Am I a Xenophobic? Is the finale too short? Yeah, that's what makes it cringy. Well, tune back in in a couple of months when I decide to not be a lazy ass and write Season 6. Don't worry. You'll see the announcement.**


	56. Peridot's Approval Slip

**Here we GO!**

Peridot's Approval Slip

by danbob521

These past few weeks were not going so well for Peridot. She was not able to truly fulfill all of the promises she made once she decided to run for mayor. People were becoming increasingly frustrated, and a few of her voters themselves were beginning to jump off the Perry train. They were discussed at her supposed indifference. So due to all of this, Peridot had to do something really really good. She had to finally do something worth noting. And today came the perfect event.

The home world had been capturing humans and torturing them until they were either killed or too unable to function that they would no longer pose any portion of a threat. The people of Earth were saddened that they couldn't fight back against the evil gems from home world.

Thus came Mayor Peridot and her plan. Brodcast on live TV, Peridot stood on her podium and made a speech:

"People of Beach City, America, Earth, and beyond, these past few months have been rough ones. We have been losing innocent citizens of our world to the evils of the original gem world and they insist on torturing our people. Yellow Diamond, a cruel dictator, has refused to surrender her evil ways despite all of our attempts to settle things with her. We refuse to tolerate any more of this cruelty. I have ordered 57 missiles to be sent to Gem World to strike on her land and attack the headquarters of Yellow Diamond herself. We didn't want to have to come to this, but she has left us no choice. I hope everyone around the galaxy feels safe and stays safe, and may god bless us all."

Peridot left the podium, and went back into her office. She was ready for this war.

A week later, her 32% approval rating went up to 41%. I guess you could say that was an okay bounce. Better than 40%.

THE END.

Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness, Season 6!

05-11-2017

 **Hey guys, thanks for reading this. Review, Follow, and Favorite, so you can be notified when Season 6 premieres next month. GET READY, THE CRINGE IS BACK!**


	57. Chapter 53

**Welcome, everyone. We took a bit of a break, but now we are BACK! Welcome to Season 6 of Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness. At over 50 chapters, and at 20,000 total views for this series so far, there is a fist flying all the way to the top. So let's get into the cringy 6th season!**

The Heat Wave

by purplegirl207

It was like any other day. The three or four birds in Beach City were chirping, no one was walking or driving on the streets, or could even be remotely seen, and Steven was going to the Big Donut to get a nice fresh donut.

As he stepped inside the Big Donut, he felt so cold. Obviously, the A/C had been cranked up to high levels. It could have been snowing it was so cold in there.

"Hello? Is anyone in here? Steven Universe, your friend here. I want a donut please."

No one answered. Was Steven all alone in this building right now, or was he being ignored? The answer wouldn't reveal itself so Steven, so the fourteen year old boy thought to check out the back room of the place. He opened the door, and saw Lars and Sadie cuddling. On any other day, he would have found this cute, but today, he didn't find anything cute. He was starving and wanted a donut, so was really agitated.

"What are you two doing?" Steven said in a rather frustrated tone.

Both sprang up. "Steven." Each yelped.

Lars and Sadie both got up. "We weren't expecting you to be here." Sadie said nervously. "What's up?"

"I want a nice donut, that's what's up. You wouldn't believe how much I'm starving right now. My stomach is going to eat itself up at any moment."

Both Lars and Sadie, with embarrassment filling up their cheeks in blushes, got out of the back room and walked towards the counter of the store. Steven had no idea what had just happened in there, and maybe that was for the best.

"And why is it so cold in here anyways?" Steven asked.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Said Lars. "Global Warming. A giant heat wave has taken over and a lot of the country and continent is seeing temperatures rise rapidly. Beach City is in a lot of trouble. Mayor Peridot is not doing such a good job at helping us out."

Steven thought about this as he got his donut and left the Big Donut. What would happen if the temperatures rose high enough? The answer? Right up in his face.

Walking back to the temple, Steven noticed something about the Beach. It seemed different. As if the water was closer to him, but he was walking at the same distance from the Ocean as always. And then, a wave hit him.

"Ahhh!" Steven was thrust back into the sand, his back containing his donut falling a out of his hand and landing a few feet behind him. This wave was too close for comfort.

Steven wondered why this happened. And then it hit him: Climate Change. That could be the only explanation for all of this. He had to see the mayor. And quick.

THE END.

 **Thanks for reading this chapter. If you still think that I'm a jerk then leave your hate in that review box down there. This season will have 10 chapters, so for the next ten days you'll see some cringe. This season will have a lot of cringy elements to it, and also some other good stuff, but you'll have to check in for that. Come back tomorrow for the next chapter.**


	58. Chapter 54

**Welcome back! Here's the next chapter.**

Connie and Edwin's Romantic Date

by stormtroopy65

It had been over three months since Connie left Steven over his vote for President Trump, and things had been going not been going so well for her. Her grades at school saw a decline, and a lot of her friends had found new people, leaving her all alone. But she still had one good thing going for her, and that one thing was Edwin. Edwin and her really fell into it, and Connie seemed so alive whenever she was near him. Words could not describe the happiness that filled up Connie when she was near her newly acquired boyfriend.

And today, the two were at the beach laying in the sand. The weather was incredibly hot, maybe over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit, but the water felt so good on their feet. Connie was cuddling close to Edwin, and was so close to leaning in for a kiss. But she held in the urge to do so because of **(whatever reason.)**

"Hey Connie?" Asked Edwin.

"Yeah?" Connie replied.

"Do you feel hot?"

Connie hesitated. This was her moment. She could finally tell him something romantic. That she always felt hot around him.

"Hell, yeah. Only when I'm with you babe." She said.

Unfortunately, Edwin was not referring to his girlfriend's look.

"No, I mean, why does it feel like the world is on fire today? And why is the water coming up on our bodies?"

The two rose up and saw the issue that they were facing. The ocean water was closer than ever before.

"Um, we should do something." Said Edwin.

Connie was disappointed that her romantic day couldn't go on, but it was true. What was up with the temperature and why was the ocean being so jerky today?

THE END.

 **I wonder what's gonna happen next. Oh wait, I already know. And so can you, If you check out the next chapter. So check it out when it comes!**


	59. Chapter 55

**Is anyone tired of this series yet? Too bad! It goes on!**

Peridot's Stress

by somejuan1

In her life, Peridot had never been as stressed as she was right now. So many complaints were coming up to her and there were so many laws to read and approve/pass. She had now regretting running for Mayor of Beach City and was now considering resigning from office once and for all so that ways she could return home and resume her normal life. But in the meantime, she still had a job to do. And here was the issue for today: a heat wave was bothering Beach City. Peridot really didn't know how that could be dealt with. All she DID know was that production of the wall she had been planning would have to be delayed due to these circumstances.

Just as the green gem was thinking about all of this, a knock sounded on her door.

"Enter." She said.

Steven walked in the room.

"Peridot, we need your help! There's some kind of heat wave-"

Peridot raised her palm up to Steven, signaling for him to be quiet.

"I've heard of the issues. I know what's going on. Just give me some time. I'm working to fix this problem and I'll make sure everything is fixed. So don't worry, the heat won't be around much longer."

That relaxed Steven. "Alrighty, thanks! You're the best, Perry!"

"Mm-Hmm," Peridot hummed as her hybrid friend left the room, shutting the door behind him. She didn't want Steven to have his heart broken if he found out that she really didn't know what was going on and couldn't really do anything. He was too young for that. But the feeling of holding in a lie was hurting her. Eventually, the truth would have to come out.

"BROOOOOP!" Her computer starting making weird sounds, and buzzing and beeping. "What the hey?!" She exclaimed.

Upon glaring at her computer, she saw a message. A very disturbing message. One that would very well be the potential end to mankind and earth gemkind as we knew it.

Peridot called the CIA, and the special military forces.

"Hey, it's Mayor Peridot from Beach City. We have a bit of a crisis going on down here. Could you guys do the honor of sending down an army of people for this issue. It's gonna get messy."

After this phone call, Peridot changed into a different outfit, one a little serious and presidential, and looked at the message on her computer one last time before leaving her office, about to get ready for what was to come.

"WE HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING THE HEATWAVE. THE GIANT RUBIES ON HOMEWORLD ARE REALLY ANGRY AND ARE ON THEIR WAY DOWN TO BEACH CITY TO PUNISH YOU FOR SHOOTING THOSE MISSILES. HOPE EVERYONE SAYS THEIR GOODBYES. WE'LL BE THERE IN AN ESTIMATED 145 EARTH HOURS FOR WAR."

THE END.

 **Hate to leave you guys in suspense, but that's my job here. The thought of this going past 55 chapters makes me cringe. But that's what's gonna happen. Check back in tomorrow. And if this series has offended you, leave all of your triggered hate in that box below. Don't even know why I tell the angry people to do that because they end up doing it anyways.**


	60. Chapter 56

**Lets do it.**

Steven Gets Jealous

by thelongjohnsilver21

Instagram is a great app. There's no doubting it. It's where people can easily post pictures of their daily lives on the internet for all of the world to see. It's a very interesting invention made by very interesting (or not so interesting) people. But with other social media services, it can also make people very upset. Like per say if one has insecurities after their breakup with another person and checks everyone else's Instagram profiles just to make sure that individual is not in it or involved with the person being viewed. It's an obvious thing that will be bound to happen no matter what, because that's just how life works.

Now take Steven after losing Connie. After his break up with her, he checked a lot of other people's Instagram profiles. He would never see her in the photos. As he lay on his bed, he finished checking everyone's profiles and was about ready to assume that she was just single and that maybe he could call her up and beg her to talk about things with him. After all, it was worth a try-right?

He almost did it. He ALMOST did.

Just then, Steven noticed an account he had not noticed before. In his recommendations, he saw an account named: edmaster123. It would have gone over his head, but he was able to see the tiny profile picture. Rage, sadness, and shock filled Steven up. In the picture, he saw Connie kissing another guy, presumably the one who owned the account.

Steven checked the account. He saw the pictures. Sure enough, the nightmares he had feared were there. There were almost 25 pictures of this guy with Connie. They were either kissing, hugging, or spending time together. And the descriptions of the photos read things like: "the love of my life," "my newly acquired girlfriend," or what really pissed off Steven, "making out with my true love."

He didn't know what to do. He'd known Connie for over a year, and she left him for this guy. He wanted to punch something, kick something, or break something, but knew that nothing would change this harsh reality to false. Nothing. Already red in the face, Steven clicked on the newest photo. It showed this guy in a tuxedo, and the description read: "about to go to the number one fancy restaurant in town with my girlfriend. it'll be great."

"Well then," Steven said in a rage. "That's just where I'll go!"

THE END.

 **What's Steven gonna do? Find out in the next cringy chapter!**


	61. Chapter 57

**Chapter five of Season 6. This gets higher and higher everyday.**

Steven's Rage Adventure

by cheesecakespoon207

Steven walked fumbling with fury to the restaurant he believed that Connie and Edwin were in. He couldn't believe this. All over a vote for Trump. What happened to liberals believing in peace, love, and acceptance? This thought fired it's way through Steven's mind as he walked like a mad man into the restaurant. The doors slammed open. Steven stomped down the hallways into the dining area. There were so many people there. And so many people that were about to witness a storm.

And near the edge of the whole place, he saw them. Connie and Edwin.

"WHAT THE HECK CONNIE!?" Steven yelled out loud.

"Oh no." Connie said. "Steven, look-"

"NO, DON'T TELL ME TO LOOK! YOU LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING! WHY ARE YOU DATING THIS GUY!?"

Edwin got up from his seat. "Hey pal," Edwin said in a calm tone. "I don't know what's going on, but I don't appreciate my girlfriend being yelled at."

That sent Steven into ANOTHER spiral out of control.

"DON'T YOU GET INTO THIS! SHE LEFT ME OVER A DAMN VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP! WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS THAT?"

Before this scream fest could go on any longer, the military came into the restaurant and raised their arms up. They did not seem in any mood to play around.

"Everyone, get out of this town immediately! There is a serious situation going on towards the beach and we need evacuation to occur RIGHT NOW. So go go go!"

THE END.

 **Now it's getting good. Check back tomorrow for the next chapter!**


	62. Chapter 58

**There's some bad news.**

STEVEN WAKES UP

by danbob521

"GAAAAH!" Steven awoke startled. He had just had an insane dream about climate change and aliens about to invade beach city. But he could tell that it had all just been a dream, as he was no longer angry in a restaurant and at home in bed. Everything was ok. It seemed to be almost 6AM. "Phew!" Steven said in relief. "That was all just a bad dream. Nothing bad happened!"

Indeed, Connie and him were broken up, but all that other stuff had not happened. Everyone and everything was back to semi-normal, or just semi-normal, because it wasn't really bad to begin with. And with that thought, Steven went back to sleep for another two hours. He rested well.

THE END.

 **Hey everyone, this is gonna be a bummer. For personal reasons, I have decided that now isn't the time to be doing this series. So Season 6 will end at six chapters only. Sorry about that. There's just too much going on to be having an everyday series go on. This is NOT cancelled, and there will be a Season 7, but for now I can't do this. Sorry, and I apologize for any upset there may be.**


	63. Important

**Sorry, everyone...**

Mayor Peridot Screws Up Again

by triggerednazigirl

Fighting these evil gems coming from Homeworld was now turning into a problem. Peridot was becoming increasingly nervous, and could no longer bear to stand on two feet anymore. She would now be sitting on chairs in all her interviews and even when she made occasional speeches, interrupted almost always by hecklers. It was becoming hell. And now money was being wasted when people were sent to home world to fight these corrupt gems that were attempting to destroy the entire galaxy and potentially even the universe.

Seeing as Beach City's economy was a rather weak one, it was hard to see how everyone in the military could be payed for going out into space to fight these evil people. So Peridot would have to do the only thing she could possibly think of.

She announced on twitter something that would end up causing controversy.

"As of today, we can no longer allow fat people to serve in the space military. I'm sorry, but it costs too much money. I regret to inform everyone of this."

Even though no fat people even served in the military, Peridot still received hate for this, and her approval feel low from 41% down to 31%. How could this have happened?

STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGY ONE SHOT MADNESS, SEASON 7

8-21-2017

 **P.S.- If you live in America, Trump is still your president.**


	64. The Eclipse Kiss

**I know Season 7 was supposed to be tomorrow, and it still is, but I just HAVE to make this chapter. It's a once in a lifetime thing.**

The Eclipse Kiss

by somejake

Steven and Connie were outside, sitting on the sandy ground, looking up at the sky. It was coming. They would never see this again ever in their lives. A solar eclipse. They were so excited to see this coming. They could hardly wait for it. The eclipse grew larger and larger and larger until...boom. The sun was finally covered by the moon. And there it was, a solar eclipse. Luckily, they had eclipse glasses, so they saw every bit of it. The solar eclipse lasted tow whole minutes, and then it was gone. But those two minutes were so beautiful.

"I can't believe we got to see an eclipse, Steven!" Connie said.

"I know. And it was so cool!" Steven replied.

The two were so hyper at this point that they quickly leaned in and kissed each other. And that kiss in itself lasted as long as the eclipse. These two truly were best friends.

Forever.

THE END.

 **While a solar eclipse is a cool thing to see, it's not THAT big of a deal. I mean, it's just a two minute thing then it goes away. Literally NO ONE will ever talk about seeing it after it happens. Regardless, It's still cool to see it, so ensure you get to experience an interesting two minutes tomorrow. Oh yeah, I forgot, and enjoy the season 7 premiere tomorrow! There are going to be new chapters of this everyday from now to September 3rd. Enjoy!**


	65. Chapter 59

**Hello and welcome (again) to Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness! It's time for season SEVEN! That's right, SEVEN. How at this point I'm still going strong I don't even know. But don't worry, because there's more fun to be had in this season. It's gonna feel like a breath of fresh air. And if not, then you probably live in China where there is no fresh air.**

Topaz Loves Topaz

by earthgirl4

They lived to serve commands. That's all that it was. No need for emotion, no need for remorse, no need for living. Only need for taking orders and serving said orders. It was a cycle that for sure was tiring and for sure was a patience test, but as gems, that was their only reason to roam the universe. Why else would they want to live?

The answer: each other. In all of the blood, sweat, but no tears, both Topazes has a secret love and devotion for one another that would never be allowed to show through. It hurt very badly. In order to take out their woe, they would end up being very rough on human beings or other criminals when they had captured them. Their excessive anger and rage would go numb, if only for a little bit, when they would use violence to the extreme on whatever they were supposed to have their giant hands on at the moment.

Being fused, this duo was often at times when they could be alone communicating and talking to one another. But when they were unfused, they could not.

Until today.

Aquamarine was out of the ship they would be flying to earth to kidnap Steven and the others. It was no one except for Topaz and Topaz.

"Hey." Said Topaz. "You look smoking."

Topaz blushed at what Topaz told her. She couldn't help but smile even.

"Aw, stop." Topaz replied.

"I love you more than anything in the world."

Both Topazes started making out very passionately. It was the best sensation ever to be felt. It was too bad that it only lasted for seven seconds, because Aquamarine entered the ship and the two fused back into one.

"Alright, prepare her for takeoff. We have a large amount of rubbish to collect on Earth. This bloody Steven will regret ever stating other individuals like him very soon!"

THE END.

 **Hope the cringe felt good on that one. There will be fourteen total chapters this season. So for the next two weeks, I wonder how many people are going to hate on me. Time will tell...**


	66. Chapter 60

**Welcome to the next chapter! Let's get into this one.**

Stephen and Connie's Awkward Run In

by caesarsaladT

Steven was going to the big donut, excited to have his daily fresh donut. Maybe he would even have some coffee to dip today's donut in, to simply shake things up and include some variety. What kind of variety? Steven's kind, that's what kind.

As Steven was happily walking in an upbeat manner to his favorite place in Beach City, his closed eyes betrayed him as he ended up bumping into someone. Steven had to immediately open his eyes, and his first intention was to apologize to whomever he had just crashed into while being too excited to notice that anyone could have been possibly heading into the direction opposite of him.

"I'm so sorry-" Steven was quiet. It was Connie.

"C-C-connie..." Said Steven nervously. "Hey."

"Oh, hey Steven." Connie was quite nervous herself. "H-how have you been?"

Steven didn't know what to say. He was still kind of angry at her for leaving him over a simple vote for a candidate. But he didn't want to bring it up to her. It had been about four months, after all. Perhaps she had calmed down a little?

"I've been good I guess. And you?"

"Eh, mediocre at best. Life is rough these days. You know, just tween girl stuff."

"Oh, I understand. It's fine. That's how life is."

Connie and Steven felt so awkward. This was not feeling anywhere near as comforting as it could have been. But Steven had a potential donut to get to, and didn't want to continue awkwardly chewing the fat.

"Well, I'll see you around I guess." he told Connie.

"Yeah, see you." Connie replied, as the two walked in different directions.

THE END.

 **This chapter was one of the rare few that don't have characters kissing, because I'm trying to be more experimental this time around. There's a lot more magic where that came from too, so stay tuned!**


	67. Chapter 61

**We're so close to 30,000 total views for this story! Hopefully we can get there before the end of this season. So many people will have to be triggered in my attempt to get there.**

Amethyst x Lapis 4ever

by crazycoolchick47

Amethyst and Lapis Lazuli were in the barn alone playing a plane video game, trying to beat the other's high score. They were really getting into the game and by the time that it was over, neither one realized that they had been playing for a total of four hours. But regardless of this, they eventually stopped, and Lapis was the winner of the high score challenge, by about 45,000 points. It felt good to be a winner, if only by a narrow margin.

"Man, you always beat me in this crummy game!" Amethyst said in a whiny tone.

"Don't be sore loser," Peridot said. "It's just a game."

"Yeah, whatever, I guess." the purple gem said, still kind of annoyed that she had lost.

Lapis looked around, and noticed that no one else was near. Then she tapped her friend on the shoulder. Amethyst looked at her.

"You know," Lapis started to say in a rather seductive tone. "There's no one else here."

Amethyst smiled. She knew exactly what Lapis was trying to get to. The leaned in and started making out. They were actually really getting into it. It seemed like the two were an unstoppable force in their make out session. Then Lapis started to-

- **THE REST OF THE CHAPTER WAS REMOVED WHEN A VIRUS GOT ON DANBOB'S COMPUTER** -

THE END.

 **Yeah, I really cringed hard when writing this one. I torture myself too much. But I shall continue because I AM A HERO.**


	68. Chapter 62

**Another day, another cringy chapter. Enjoy. And if you're triggered by any of these chapters, you know what to do.**

Pearl's Nightmare

by chlobow21

It was just an ordinary peaceful day. Pearl was happily enjoying the feeling of the outside world, blissfully starring at the sky and it's beauty. If only her best friend had been there with her. It truly would have been a good day indeed had Rose been there with her.

As Pearl was thinking deeply, a rumbling nose starting creeping up on her. It got louder and louder and louder until finally a giant hand was placed over her shoulder. Pearl gasped.

The white gem with red hair turned around. She couldn't believe what she was looking at. It was Rose.

"Hello, my Pearl." Said Rose.

"ROSE? YOU'RE ALIVE?"

"Yes, Pearl. And you know what? I think you should feel a little of what I felt."

"Wha-?" Pearl was cut off as she was picked up by her former friend and thrown rapidly into the Ocean.

Pearl tried to swim upwards, but the throw was so momentous, she kept sinking downwards and downwards and downwards. And finally, she was out.

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" Pearl awoke. She was in her room. She had just had a bad dream. It was only a nightmare, and there was nothing to be worried about. "Oh, Rose, you would never do something like that to me! Haha!"

Little did she know, Rose secretly hated her.

THE END.

 **This one wasn't as cringy as it is weird. But nonetheless, I still hope it hit, if only a little hard. See on on the next one!**


	69. A New Issue

**Hey everyone. I interrupt this current season going on to bring you some unfortunate news. So here's what is going on.**

 **First of all, Season 7 is going to continue as planned. It WILL go on through September 3, and I do not intend to it. But the problem is this: you might not be able to see it because of a new issue. Since the season began, whenever I post a new chapter, it eventually is up, but the story doesn't go to the top of the archive list. This is not an enjoyable issue to be having, as it blocks out people from being able to read my story.**

 **I have contacted Fanfiction to notify them of this issue and I hope the respond soon because I badly need their help. And I hope they are able to help me out here, as I spent a lot of time working on these Season 7 and it isn't right if a bug if causing me to not be seen by the rest of the community.**

 **I will still update this story until September 3 regardless of anything that happens. That is a promise.**

Steven closed his laptop after reading this. "This series is gonna die, isn't it?" He said worried. And maybe the series wouldn't die out, if fanfiction would please help out.


	70. Chapter 63

**Here's one that will feel classic to a lot of you. You're welcome and enjoy.**

Lars and Padparadscha Have a A Moment

by dogcatlonnie82

Lars, Padparadscha, the Rutile twins, Rhondite, and Fluorite were traveling through the caverns of underground of Homeworld. They were still in the mission to escape the planet once and for all. But as the difficulty level of the quest was showing, the six were steadily losing more and more hope. Lars was beginning to wish that Steven had not gone back to Earth and just stayed with the rest of the defective gems as he originally had yearned for but Lars wanted him to be safe. It was a heroic and selfless thing of Lars to not want his friend to be in danger, seeing as he didn't even deserve to be in any form of danger, but right about now was when Lars realized that Steven could have potentially been useful to the group and he had had him return to Earth.

As the six were traveling down the dark places, a Robonoid was making it's way in their direction. Lars could have maybe avoided it, but then he saw one coming from behind the group. He knew it would be fatal if they were spotted by these things, so he looked around and saw only one other direction to their left.

"Quick, everyone! Go down there!" Lars ordered.

But in his thinking, he didn't realize that the other five gems were already in that one direction to the left of them. Lars made an annoyed grunt.

"Yeah, in your quick thinking, it appears we thought quicker." Said Rhondite.

Lars bolted to the rest of the team and the six of them ran far down this tunnel, desperately attempting to get away from the robonoids, and fighting the urge to look behind them. They made a few lefts and rights, until at one point they were in another safe place. It was almost as big as their original hiding spot from the start. Padparadscha looked shell shocked. She could barely breathe. "We need to *pant pant* run!"

"Alright everyone how about this. We're a little closer to where we're trying to get now," Lars said. "So I think we should just stay put in here for now."

"Hmm," Rhondite said. "You sure about that? I mean, we could keep going."

Lars looked at Padparadscha. "No. We can't. We need to catch our breaths before we can go out again."

"Yes indeed." Flourite said, agreeing with Lars.

So the six gems decided that they would all stay in this place and just seek refugee. For now. Soon, most of the gems went to resting, leaving Lars alone. He couldn't sleep. Thinking about what he had done to Sadie was killing him, but it was all that was on his mind. He couldn't believe how selfish he had been to someone who had always been there for him. It hurt to even wonder what Sadie was doing now that she was back on planet Earth. She probably was still mad at him and glad he wasn't there anymore. She probably would have been happy to see him die just like he was willing to let her get taken by a gem on that ship.

"Hello Lars." He heard someone.

He looked up, and saw Padparadscha. She looked very quiet and peaceful.

"Hey." Lars said and looked back down. "What's up?"

Padparadscha sat right next to Lars.

"Why are you upset?" She asked him, seemingly worried.

"Because I did something terrible and the guilt is eating at me." Lars answered.

"Why would that be?"

"I let someone down. And the feeling sucks."

Padparadscha could understand where he was coming from. She empathized with him a lot.

"I've let people down before too. I've done things that I still regret right now. And the feeling is a big throwback. You are not alone."

She placed her hand on Lars' hand. Looked looked up and to his right, and saw her looking right at him. She uncovered her one eye. Lars would have been disgusted to see someone with one eye before today, but not now. The two leaned in close, and shared a passionate kiss.

"I love you." Said Padparadscha. "I love you too," said Lars.

THE END.

Aww! These two should be together! They should make them date in the show! I really hope that they do this!

 **I SERIOUSLY hope they never do this. So many people constantly ship random characters together and it's not cute. It's creepy and feels awkward to read. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. This was one to go back to the good old days of seasons 1 and 2. Hope you guys enjoyed.**


	71. Chapter 64

**The sixth chapter is always the best one. Oh, wait...**

Connie Calls Steven

by shrekisdreck5

The days had come and gone since she had stopped being friends with Steven, but Connie still had some feelings for the boy. After all, they were really really close. And nothing should have been able to ruin that. Edwin was only a friend, and she had recently found out that Edwin was kind of starting to forget about her and focus on other people. So what did she honestly have to lose by calling Steven?

She dialed his number, and it started to ring. After about thirty seconds of ringing, it went to voicemail. She called it a second time. Once again, it had gone to voicemail. She called it a third time. Like the other two times, it had gone to voicemail. After three times of trying, Connie started to consider throwing in the towel and giving it up for now and wait until later on to try and call him. But something made her feel like she should call him again.

Steven was playing a video game when the call had come in. He didn't expect to ever hear from her again, but there it was. Connie was calling his phone. He paused his game. Anxiety began to grow in his chest, as he began hyperventilating and wondering whether or not to pick up. His face was turning pale then back to red. It was a crazy feeling to feel right now, but he was feeling it anyways. Eventually, it went to voicemail and he was relieved. Maybe now it was over.

But just as he was starting to relax and cool off, it rang again. Anxiety quickly overtook Steven. He spent another thirty seconds trying to relax and to not freak out. Then it stopped. Steven was beginning to suspect she would call a third time. And call a third time she did. The phone rang and rang and now his heart was racing along with his mind and Steven was now in a full fledged panic mode in which he could not escape. What could possibly be done to end this anxiety?

After that, it was over. Steven began to calm down and went back to playing his game. After about five minutes, he was calm again and peacefully playing his game. And then...

RING! The phone went off again and Connie was trying to call him a fourth time. Steven was now at his lowest point and came to the conclusion that Connie wasn't going to stop and with that he picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Steven said.

"Hey, Steven, what's up?" said Connie.

"I was just playing a game. That's why I wasn't able to pick up the other three times."

"Oh, that's okay Steven."

There was a three second pause of silence and then Connie said something that made Steven's eyes pop up.

"Do you maybe wanna meet up somewhere later on and talk about things? I just need someone to talk to because life is kind of sucky right now."

"S-sure." Steven responded hesitantly but willingly.

"Alright. How does outside the Big Donut sound?" Connie was trying to be nice to Steven by saying this.

"Sure, that sounds great. Maybe we can get some fresh donuts." Steven tried to be nice back.

"Alrighty then!" Connie said. "See you there later today around 6PM."

"Alright, I look forward to seeing you, Connie." Steven said and the two both hung up simultaneously. This was gonna be awkward for the two, but maybe it was needed. After all, how awkward could it get?

THE END.

 **I wonder what's gonna happen in the next chapter. Stay tuned to see how this goes!**


	72. Chapter 65

**Let's see how this date goes.**

Steven and Connie's Awkward Friend Date

by ragemaster123456

Both didn't know what the expect from what this meetup would consist of. Both Steven and Connie were deep in their thoughts that they would potentially have parted ways forever back in Season 5. But now, things were having a different potential outcome for the future of things.

The two came face to face in front of the big donut. Nothing felt as awkward as it was feeling now. Despite this however, the two would attempt to TRY and make things work at the very least. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

"Hey, Steven. How you doing?" Connie asked, blushing in embarrassment. She didn't want her former friend (maybe boyfriend) to know that she was blushing. Luckily, Connie had darker skin, so her blushing cheeks were harder to spot. Steven didn't even realize that that girl that left him because of a vote for president.

"I'm good. You?" Steven replied. He didn't know what to say. The temptation right now was murdering Steven.

"I'm good."

"That's good. So what do you want to talk about?"

Connie was about to respond to Steven and tell him something sappy like how she forgave him for his vote for Trump, but then she realized something. Something big.

"Um, Steven?"

"Yeah, Connie?"

"You said you're 14 right?"

"Yeah."

"So then HOW would you be able to vote for president?"

"Um...wait a minute! You know what this means right Connie?"

"What?"

"The danbob521 screwed up the plot!"

"You wanna get back together then?" Connie asked him.

"Hell yeah!"

And the two hugged and shared a nice, passionate, intense kiss. They were together again. Forever and ever.

THE END.

 **Yeah, I was kind of getting tired of these two being split up, so I decided to find the easy way out. I feel relieved beyond words at this moment.**


	73. Chapter 66

**It goes on.**

Garnet x Lapis

by ringmaster607

The two were on an ocean mission. They were on the hunt for an easy target gem to be able to poof and bubble. It would add to their ever so growing collection of gems that had been poofed and bubbled.

As the two were flying in this plane they were using. They had a conversation.

"I like you." Said Lapis.

"I like you too," Replied Garnet.

And the two started making out.

And then Lapis woke up. "Damn it! I thought it was real! Why do I keep feeling these feelings?" This scream awoke Peridot. She grunted and called over.

"Is everything okay blue?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ok."

Peridot drifted back to sleep. And Lapis would remain upset.

THE END.

 **Sorry if this is a shorter one. But don't worry, another one will be out tomorrow!**


	74. Chapter 67

**We're getting ever closer to 30,000 as the Season is winding down. Hope you guys read and follow and favorite to know when the next chapter is coming.**

Peridot And The No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day.

by stormchaser15

It had been another long day of leading Beach City. Being the person in charge of a whole area was trying for sure. But she would have to pull through it. After all, what choice did she have? Resign? That would have ended terribly for the little green gem. No one would ever respect her again if she resigned. So day after day she went to work and was stressed and continued to be stressed out because she had to keep doing what she loved at first, but now had grown to hate beyond words. The feeling of coming home after work each day was the most relieving feeling she had had. And even that could only last about six or seven hours, as she would have to wake up early the next morning and then restart this harsh and cruel cycle.

The little gem walked into the barn, threw her suitcase onto the floor, and feel into a pile of hay, ready for nice and smooth, with a hint of relaxing slumber. It took nearly ten minutes, but she was finally asleep and then she began to dream of a more peaceful life.

This sleep lasted around forty five minutes. Because she was awoken by a tap. Peridot looked up, and saw Mayor Dewey.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU CLOD? GET OUT!" She threw some hay at the former Mayor's face. It would have annoyed any other human being, but for now, her former rival, as well as the former mayor of Beach City, was only focused on one thing, and that was getting his job back.

"Listen, Peridot," He said is a golden voice. "I see you're beginning to hate your job as mayor. So I thought that maybe I could take my job back and you can be more calm here in the barn everyday. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"NO!" She shouted. "I don't care HOW stressed I am, I'm not giving up my job to helping this city to ANYONE. So CLOD off!"

Mayor Dewey disappointingly walked away. He was angry and sad at the same time. He thought that somehow he could get through to her, but it just didn't seem like it was going to happen. He would have to try another day, he supposed.

"Thank gard he left! Now I can finally go back to sleep!" Peridot said as she went back to sleep.

THE END.

 **Hope you guys liked the chapter. If you felt bored by this one, don't worry. There's another one tomorrow. AND...for everyone wondering what the fate of the Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness will be after Season 7, I will make an announcement on September 3rd regarding it.**


	75. Chapter 68

**Here comes another. Enjoy. Don't get offended by this one.**

Fat Gems Are Acceptable

by scottykittykat42

In Homeworld, things operated in many different ways. You could suspect that somehow if things on Earth worked one way, however, then things on Homeworld (the gem world) could maybe work in that one same way or maybe another. But there was one thing that Homeworld and Earth had in common: they were a little too accepting towards people with high weight levels. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being overweight just a little bit, but sometimes it was a little too morally acceptable to be insanely overweight, like at OBESE levels or maybe beyond. (Is there a beyond to obese?)

Today, though, something new was going to happen. Something that would entirely change the game for what I'd like to say better, but in complete reality is worse. Yellow Diamond had a new announcement to make. The people of homeworld were all tuned in to listen to what their diamond would have had to say.

"Hello, to the insignificant and even at time atrocious gems of homeworld. I've come to the attention that some gems, not all, but SOME gems are getting a little...bigger. And people are being kind of mean to said gems. It isn't such a nice thing to make fun of someone for their shape or size. I mean, hell, they chose that path, but still, you have to be a more accepting being, even if we're all just weird rocks that the show still hasn't explained what exactly our purposes are. So please. Treat all gems the way you want to be treated and let them grow in size. You aren't in charge of their bodies. So stick to your own business."

And now, Homeworld had turned into another SJW land. It's not just America anymore. It's THE UNIVERSE.

THE END.

 **I swear, obesity is rising in America and no one seems to care. Yeah ok, some people can't help it. But how is trying to help them to lose weight discriminating towards them? Ensuring they don't die is actually to their benefit. And all these famous people who think that they're ending fat shaming by talking selfies of their skinny bodies really are ironic too. The SJW community has gone insane with all these things. Next SJW college kids will be asking fellow students to pay feminists for their "emotional labor." Oh, no. They did!**


	76. Chapter 69

**We're SOOOO close to hitting 30,000 views for this. And we're also just about at 200 reviews at this point, which is another plus. Thanks so much for everything you guys do. And thank you to the people leaving hate reviews too. Continue, please.**

Two Stevonnies Make Out

by WaffleWaffleWaffle

Steven and Connie were hanging out at the beach, under the dim sky. The clouds were still up in the sky, making pink spots in the purple atmosphere. The waves were peacefully rubbing up on the sand, leaving, and then returning. The two were calmly sitting on the beach, with Connie resting her head on Steven's shoulder. Steven was glad to have this girl resting on him, even if he wondered why girls did this sometimes. It just made little to no sense. **(Seriously, why?)**

But this feeling would drown out as soon as Steven and Connie shared a passionate kiss. Their lips connected so sensationally that birds were singing to the connections.

However, this would not be the conclusion of this chapter. Something else happened following their delicate smooch.

Glowing and trending sounds began to spawn, implying that the two were about to fuse. Stevonnie was coming- or would she? Maybe this time something else would happen. No, not maybe. It WOULD.

A flash occured. And suddenly...

"WHAT THE?"

There were two Stevonnies. TWO of them. They both screamed at each other. They were terrified of what they were starring at. The two Stevonnies tried to unfuse any way that they could. But there was no way to do so. They were fused like this permanently.

"Well I guess there is only one thing we can do now." Stevonnie 1 said.

"I know what you're thinking." Stevonnie 2 said with a smile.

The two leaned in fast and started making out. They were really passionate about it too. And they kissed for the rest of eternity.

THE END.

 **Whew! What a chapter. Check back tomorrow for the next one!**


	77. Chapter 70

**Just two more.**

Garnet Has Kids (AU)

by loverspy **(I'm running out of ideas for fake usernames. HELP!)**

A nine month wait can affect a lot of people for the better or for the worse. But regardless of how long and anxiety making that wait may be, every period of time comes to an end. And that's exactly what happened today.

Garnet was in the hospital room, panicking and breathing loudly as the nurses and doctors tried to make this childbirth as smooth as possible and no one was dead or hurt. The level of pain that this was enforcing on Garnet was hell on earth. But it was about to come to a painful, but at the end relieving, end.

"Ma'am, we're gonna ask you to push now. Push!" One nurse said.

Garnet did as the nurse told her, and pushed, in terrible pain. She was asked to push again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until finally...

they came out.

Both twins. They both were outside of Garnet, and finally she was breathing normally again, and the pain began to slow down.

"What are their names going to be?" The nurse asked Garnet.

"Ruby and Sapphire." Garnet replied.

And the two would grow to become very successful people.

THE END.

 **The cringe in this one...I almost passed out writing it. Well, we have two more chapters to follow after this one, so stay tuned!**


	78. Chapter 71

**Just one more after this.**

Money Gems

by stonecone55

Steven, Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet (I got the order wrong, didn't I?) were on the couch playing a board game. And to no surprise, Steven was winning, because he was the only one that really understood the game. This is clearly because he bought the game.

As they were playing, they heard a ring at their front door.

"I'll get it." Amethyst said, grunting afterwards. As the opened the door, not a soul was standing outside, but something was out there. She looked down on the floor. A giant box lay there. It looked like a UPS brown box, but bigger than normal. A LOT bigger than normal. You could potentially fit five or six babies in there. Maybe seven if you tried hard enough. Eight if you like fairy tales.

"Um...giant package delivery for...Steven?" Amethyst called to the rest of the gems and of course Steven. The box did say "To Steven", after all.

"YAY! For me!" Steven barracked, as he got off the couch and ran to the box. It was heavy, but he was able to single-handedly bring the box to the living room. "I wonder what's in it."

"Wait, you don't know what's even in this thing that came for you?" Pearl asked.

"Nope! But I look forward to opening it!" Steven replied happily, as opened the box. All the gems looked in the box in awe. In there lay a giant amount of money. All three gems were thinking of what they could do with the money. Maybe buy mansions, or new weapons, or even a bunch of food. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were excited to spend all of this money. But then Steven ruined their dreams.

"Wait, I just remembered. This is that FAKE money I ordered to prank people! Silly me!"

And with that, the three gems disappointingly went into their rooms as Steven went around beach city pranking everyone with fake money. There were no survivors.

THE END.

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Announcement coming in tomorrow's chapter, which is the Season 7 finale. You guys should check in.**


	79. Chapter 72

**We've come to the end of another incredibly cringy season. After 72 chapters of maddening cringe, I am amazed that we're still going strong. And for that reason, be ready for more to come in the future, with Seasons 8, 9, and 10! 10 chapters each. So we're going to 102 chapters at least with this baby!**

Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond's Conference

by Moonwolf42

There was love in the air. Homeworld was such a lovely place. The lovable views were ecstatic to see, albeit the dark intentions of those who inhabited what could be seen from above or from afar. And two diamonds were what ruled this vast place. Two tall, commanding, and quite intimidating giants. Every single gem feared messing up around them. Every single illegal fusion feared being spotted by them or those working closest to them. But what no one seemed to know was that these diamonds had quite the passion for one another, even if they wouldn't show it at their public service announcements.

"I don't quite understand, but these fusions, they have something, have you noticed?" Blue Diamond asked her frenemy. They were in their main room.

Yellow Diamond scoffed. "Oh, please, don't be foolish. They only fuse because either their weak and want to stronger, or because their strong and we need more strength. Just look at the Topazes. They don't even care for each other but we need them to be strong so they can destroy the earthlings."

Blue Diamond disagreed. "I think maybe they like being together with one another. They might have feelings for each other in ways we could not even imagine ourselves."

Yellow Diamond was about to respond, but then Blue Diamond said another thing. "Or maybe we can, because we feel it too."

At this moment, both were starring into each other's eyes. It was clear of their ardent devotion for one another right then and there. But nothing else would be said, because Blue Diamond leaned in and layed a pop kiss on Yellow Diamond's lips. It was such an amazing sensation, but it lasted for but two seconds only, as Yellow Diamond backed away.

"We never speak of this again." Yellow said.

THE END.

 **Thanks for all the support! This season has been great. See you in the next one.**


	80. Steven Loses His Internet

**Why does the government always have to ruin our lives?**

Steven Loses His Internet

by stevobomber43

Steven awoke for another day of adventure. He was ready for just about anything that life would throw at him. Anything, that is, that was TODAY. Or so he thought. Little did he know what was about to happen as he logged onto his computer. As he went into his browser, immediately he noticed something. It was going slower than it had ever gone before, even on the worst of days. But that, in his mind, would not stop Steven from using his precious internet on this glorious day, so it seemed. Steven went on twitter, to check out what Mayor Peridot was tweeting today. But then something horrifying popped up. A message.

"This website is blocked by your ISP. You must order a certain package to access this site."

His heart dropped to his stomach. Steven could not believe it. How could this have possibly happened to him? How would anything be the same again? And most importantly of all, did Mayor Peridot tweet anything today?

Steven panicked.

"GUYS! YOU GUYS!"

Amethyst and Pearl heard his shouts and rushed to see what was wrong.

"Yo, Steven. What's up? Anything messy?" Amethyst asked.

"THE INTERNET IS MESSY!" Steven responded, unnerved.

"Oh, um, we didn't tell him, did we?" Pearl looked at Amethyst, then looked back at Steven.

"Steven," Amethyst started. "Net neutrality was taken away today, so now our ISP can't recieve a few certain sites. And we won't have the money to pay for some of it, so..."

Steven feel off his chair and onto the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

There is no happy ending to this chapter. That's what happened. The internet as the world had knew it was ruined.

THE (SAD) END.

SEASON 8 TEASER COMING JANUARY 1ST, 2018!

 **So the FCC decided to repeal Net Neutrality today. But it's not the end of the world, and we aren't going to make it, either. No matter what happens, I promise to continue this series regardless of what might happen. And there won't be a single change. It will take more than Ajit Pai to stop me from filling your days with cringe! So stay tuned!**


	81. Mayor Peridot's Tax Bill

**Happy New Year Everyone! Hope you're ready for this...**

Mayor Peridot's Tax Bill

by aperson

It had been nearly a year, and the little to nothing had been passed in terms of congress. Sure, she'd signed some executive orders to help out the people of Beach City, but since people were too divided, it was really hard to pass anything through the senate. But good things come to those who wait, because just as Peridot was about to get rid of all the hope she had of ever receiving any bill on her desk to sign, it happened. A bill. A tax bill. One that would cut taxes on the people on Beach City for the next 10 years. She couldn't have been happier.

Not half and hour later, the press was in her office, looking forward to seeing her bill become a law live on tv.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Beach City, we finally have a success to be proud of with this new bill right here. For the next decade, your tax brackets are going to be much more tolerable than now. This will also allow certain wages to go up and boost our economy to higher and higher levels. And I'm proud to sign it right now."

Mayor Peridot took her pen out of her pocket and signed the bill, then showed it to the camera with her signature. The bill had mixed approvals, but at least she (FINALLY) got something done.

THE END.

STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGE ONE SHOT MADNESS SEASON 8!

COMING FEBRUARY 7, 2018!

 **Hope you guys are ready for this next season. I took a bit of a break, but now that I'm back, it's time for more cringe, and more agony. See you again soon! -db521**


	82. Chapter 73

**At this point, you already know how it is. Let's get right into it. Enjoy Season 8!**

Steven Universe Gets Dethroned

by papertowels

Now that Sadie no longer worked for the big donut, Steven was on a donut withdraw. He badly wanted one, and thanks to Sadie choosing to pursue music, there was all but no way to enjoy another donut. And this wouldn't have come as much of an issue, if only for the fact that there were other things that Steven got from the big donut, like the cookie cat. Basically, there were no sweets that Steven could savor, as there was no source to claim them from. Ultimately, Steven would not be getting many desserts for a while, which would lead to the inevitable, him losing weight. (Which actually wouldn't come across as a big thing if you think about it.)

As he lay on his bed in misery, desiring a treat, Steven couldn't help but think of the fact that weight loss was the only thing that could come out of all this. Desperate to forget about all this, Steven began to consider eating a tide pod, like many other people were, and he probably would have done it, had in the distance he not heard a song. His skin developed goosebumps by hearing it. What was this horrid thing he was hearing?

Steven exited his house, only to figure out what was happening. A speaker had been mysteriously placed outside his door, and it was playing a spanish song that sounded so generic and cringe worthy that it wasn't even funny.

He put his hands over his hears to try and block the sound out. "WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE?" He screamed out loud. Thankfully, no one was around to hear him or the crap that was playing in front of him.

Steven kicked the speaker off the edge of the deck, and it feel all the way down to the sandy ground, breaking in two. The song stopped playing instantly, and the nightmare seemed over. Until Steven saw an envelope on the ground below where the speaker had once been, reading: "to Steven."

Steven picked up the envelope off the floor, and went back inside his house, closing the door behind him. Steven went back onto his bed, and opened the envelope. There was a note inside of it. It read this:

"Hello, Steven Universe. Since 2013, your show's theme song has been incredibly cringe worthy. Your fanbase made the cringe even worse with the stories they wrote on fanfiction and wattpad, and the insanely SJW and politically correct messages the show decided to add to itself after a while fueled the fire of the cringe in the base. To put things in a much straighter perspective, Steven Universe has done nothing but create a part of the internet filled with terrible storytelling and incredibly odd character shipping. But for the first time ever, something WORSE than anything you can possibly do has popped up. A song named Despacito. This song makes cringe an understatement of a word. It makes your theme song seem like a Grammy winning song. Sorry, Universe. You've aged out. Your time at the center of the cringe is over."

Steven's heart dropped down to his stomach. How could this have happened? How could he have been replaced by one song? He would not stand for it.

"I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!" Steven shouted as he jumped off his bed, excited to create an even worse song to remain relevant. But, what he didn't realize is that he had just jumped straight down to the floor, where he broke his arm.

The next week was spent in the hospital. Oh well.

THE END.

 **5,000,000,000 views for what is arguably the worst song in history. Worse than this show's theme song. But don't worry. This story isn't going anywhere. Well, at least for as long as SU is running on TV.**


	83. Chapter 74

**The way this country is going, I can only imagine what it will be like in 10 years or so from now. I guess time will tell. Anyways, onto the chapter!**

Lion Plus Cow

by swordgirl81

Lion constantly spent his days trying to avoid having to do what Steven had wanted him to do. He respected the kid for all it was worth, but sometimes he drove him rather nuts. It was time for a break. Lion would need to try and get away for a while. Seeing as Steven had recently been admitted into the hospital for jumping off his bead and hitting the floor hard, the next two weeks would be time for good rest and relaxation. This couldn't have been a better time.

The Pink thick haired Lion was happily dashing on the water in front of the temple, which was the start of a big ocean. Lion was enjoying his freedom, happily savoring the period of time it would get to not have to take some annoying kid's orders. This was Day 1. Day 2 would be the interesting day, when Lion realized that he was going to find love.

Lion was walking through the fields, considered eating some of the hay. Since Lapis Lazuli had left, a big empty space was left in this area. But that would not be the craziest thing the animal would see today when it went to go check out how the now barnless place looked like. Upon taking a glance at the spot, Lion noticed something not natural. Something that shouldn't have been there. Something extraordinary. Something...beautiful.

A cow.

This was not just any other cow to Lion. This cow looked for some odd reason, different. Instantly, Lion noticed. This was a gem cow. There was a gem on one of it's black spots.

Either way, this was the most beautiful cow Lion ever had the honor of laying his eyes on. He wanted to spend the rest of his days with this cow. This cow was Lion's destiny, and every reason he had to live. He knew there was a purpose for him, and not listening to the orders of some overweight 14 year old kid. It was Lion's time for love.

Lion rushed for this cow, hoping to get a few words (or whatever animals use to talk) in, but as soon as the cow saw Lion coming at such an alarming rate, the cow ran away, leaving Lion still running, and in his running, ended running straight into the giant hole left in the Earth. While Lion was able to survive this fall, by teleporting out of the hole, the cow was gone, which meant Lion was alone. Turns out love was not something Lion would be able to have in this life. What a pity.

Frustrated, Lion decided to go to the hospital to check on Steven. Maybe he WAS meant to be Steven's servant. Sadly.

THE END.

 **This chapter was an experimental one. I figured there's more that can be done than just having characters kissing. After all, if I want to keep this series (or story) relevant, I need to not make these stale. Don't worry though. You'll still get a lot of kissing and other cringy stuff like before, but there will also be new types of ways to cringe. Enjoy!**


	84. Chapter 75

**75th chapter! I honestly don't know how I've been able to keep this going after all this time. 25 more we'll be at 100. And you know it's coming. :)**

How To Make A Cringy One Shot Chapter

by howtostevenuniversebasic

Steven was laying in bed, thinking about life. Then suddenly, the window in front of him shattered and in jumped Connie.

"STEVEN I LOVE YOU!" Connie jumped on Steven and began to kiss him multiple times. Steven would have been happy to have this happen to him in any other scenario, but this girl had gone crazy. She shattered his window, then did this.

Steven threw Connie off of him, in a frightened state.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said, panicked. Steven ran away from her, and dashed outside. But that was to no good use. Outside he saw the whole town of beach city, each person with an egg in their hand. Steven became wide eyed and terrified. Before he could even get a word out, they all threw their eggs at him, and Steven was covered in yolks. This was disgusting.

Then, Connie came from behind and pushed him off the balcony and onto the sandy floor. After all that recovery, it seemed he would be going back to the hospital.

And then he woke up. "AH!" Steven said, staring at Connie, who was right beside him.

"Oh, good morning Steven. You feel good?"

Steven was hesitant at first, but then responded. "Yeah, I'm good. I feel a little better. I think I can go home now."

"Yeah, not for another week. The doctor still has to put in place parts of the bone that you broke. But don't worry. It won't be long."

Steven sighed. But at least Connie wasn't doing anything crazy to him. Things were ok.

THE END.

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this one. The next one will be a little more return to form. Tune in tomorrow for it!**


	85. Chapter 76

**Salutations, males and females. Here we go.**

The Forced Fusions Kiss

by stormstormformfusion

Scientifically, being forced to fuse wouldn't make bodies. But these fusions were not like others. They were different. They had been fused together, to make two different faces. And they were kept in a lab. These two shards that were placed together by order of their diamond were alone is a big container.

"We're not even properly fused." One gem face said to the other.

"I know that we aren't. But there's nothing we can do about it. We're stuck like this now. This here is our life. And this is our fusion." This gem was blue, the other was red. The blue one was a male, the red one a female. You wouldn't be able to tell that anymore though.

"What are we going to do? Homeworld is a mess and we're in ruins We're just gem faces made from shards." Red said.

"I don't know." Replied Blue, looking at the ground in disgust at what he had now become.

At least Blue wasn't alone in his misery and shards. He had this other gem. At least she would keep him company. For now at least.

"Hey Red?" Blue said.

"Yes, Blue?" Red responded.

"I'm glad that you're over here."

Red smiled. The two gems leaned in and smooched. It would be a long while, but at least they had each other.

THE END.

 **This one was short, but I sure felt the cringe typing it. And I'm sure you felt the cringe reading it. See you tomorrow with the next one!**


	86. Chapter 77

**Half way mark here. Writing these are fun, not gonna lie. Especially when I come up with a really good one, like this one.**

Peridot Steps Down

By skyrocketrainbow56

Being mayor was becoming tiring for Peridot. She kept trying to improve, but her approval rating was still at 40%, or around there. Leading no longer had to sparking feeling to it it had once had back when she first took office. She wanted an out. It was time for her to leave office. She didn't care if her term wasn't over. Dewey could take it all back. She was all but done.

Peridot had a speech ready to deliver to the people of Beach City. It would be similar to the speech Richard Nixon gave to step down from office. Except that she had not really committed a crime. She just wanted to leave office. Just as the live cameras were about to broadcast the stressed Green gem announcing her resignation, someone stepped into Peridot's office. She looked, and saw an aide. She was a normal human, with brunette hair and height around 5'5 or 5'6.

"Mayor **Peridot,** just what do you believe you are doing?" She asked.

Peridot **grunted.** "Leaving for good."

"You can't leave! Everyone will hate you for doing this! You're aware of that right?"

"Everyone already hates me. My approval rating is in the 30s. Nothing will bring me up to the 40s. And even if it did, it would end up going back down into the 30s within a matter of days."

Her aide looked shocked and also frustrated.

"Madam Mayor, you do realize your State of The CIty Speech brought your approval up to 44%, right?"

Peridot's eyes shot wide open.

"WHHHHAAAAAAATTTT? That's impossible!"

"Yes it is!" Her aide said. "Sure it may not be a lot, but definitely a minor bounce. Why are you going to resign when your approval rating isn't even in the 20s yet? You HAVE to stay!"

Peridot sighed.

"Fine, I'll stay. But things need to start getting better."

And with that, Peridot decided to remain Mayor Peridot.

THE END.

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. If you didn't, then there will be another one tomorrow. We're halfway done here, but don't worry because the cringe never dies!**


	87. Chapter 78

**On to it.**

Connie Loves Her Mirror

by stevuniversefan4eva

Connie's alarm clock sounded loudly. It was 8:00AM. It was time for her to begin her day. Maybe she would go visit Steven and they could do some sword training. That would have been nice. But whatever was going to happen, Connie would have to get ready to begin the day. And the first order of business was to prepare herself.

Connie walked into her bathroom and turned on the light. She began to brush her teeth, and combed her hair, followed by some nice blow-drying processes. It only took a few short and decent minutes. This girl was going to take on the world someday.

But there was one other thing left to do.

Connie was very interested in herself. By a lot. And while she kept this to herself, there was ONE other thing that she did in the morning that she never told anyone else about.

The young teen leaned into her mirror and kissed her own reflection on the lips.

"You're a beautiful lady, Connie." She told herself.

Then she left the bathroom and got ready for a day of adventure.

THE END.

 **Next Chapter Tomorrow!**


	88. Chapter 79

**Running is the most exhausting thing someone can do. That's what this one's all about.**

Steven Has To Run

by linjonloerstarjo

Steven had recently applied to a new job. He was going to go work at the place where he always got burgers from so he could gather the money for a T-Shirt. But what Steven had forgotten when he went to bed the night before was that waking uo early is one of the most painfuk things that a human can do.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Steven's alarm clock sounded off. Steven hit the snooze button.

4 minutes later, it sounded again, and Steven hit the snooze button once more.

This went on for a good thirty minutes before Steven realized it was 8:30AM. He had to report to work at 9AM. His heart sank down to his stomach. He couldn't be late for his first day at a new job. Getting fired on day one is not soemthing that would go well on a record.

Steven quickly put on his clothes, and ran out of the temple speedily.

"I CAN NOT BE LATE!"

Steven continued his travel through town, desperately attempting to not be late. The adolescent gem human did not have the best body for this. He kept having tough times with his breathing.

Steven kept on running and running. It was now 8:55. If he didn't stop now, he would just barely make it to work. Steven brushed off all of his woes inside his body and kept on running.

With 10 seconds left, Steven was now 15 yards away from the entrance.

"I'M HERE!"

Steven arrived just as it turned to 9:00AM.

"Hello, Steven." Frybo's dad said. "Welcome to your new job!"

THE END.

 **This one was inspired by all of the times that I have painstakingly ran to get somewhere and have had a hard time doing it. Life can be quite a run.**


	89. Chapter 80

**Chapter eight of Season eight! Enjoy the cringe on this one!**

Pearl The Robot

by surpriseeaglegem

It was a long and stormy day. The crystal gems were inside, waiting for the storm going on to be over. They hoped that it wouldnt be too long, because they had some more loose gems to catch outside in the real world.

"Well, I'm bored." Amethyst said then grutned.

"It's only until the storm clears up." Pearl said, trying to be optimistic. But even she was quite the worrier deep inside.

Garnet didn't say a single word.

Luckily, the Crystal Gems did have one form of entertainment, and that one form of entertainment was Steven Universe himself.

"Guys let's play card games!" He said. "If you want, we can gamble with whatever money we have left from that money chapter in Season 7!"

"That sounds very boring." Amethyst said while grunting. "And it also wouldnt work because the money can be used by any of us who want it."

"Darn it. You're right." Steven sighed. He was ready to just give up and spend some quality (or non-quality) time sitting with the gems. But then a light bulb went over his head. He thought of a really fun and cool idea that the gems would potentially enjoy.

"Guys, I know! We could pretend to be robots!" Steven said aloud.

"Um, what?" Amethyst said, very non-enthusiastically.

"One of us could pretend to be the robot servant of the house and take everyone's orders! It would be a kind of fun game to play while we wait for this storm to be over. Come on guys! Let's try it!"

The three gems looked at one another, then back at Steven. It was worth a shot if it meant at the very least Steven would be happy. And who knew? Maybe they would begin to enjoy whatever this game Steven had them going into playing was.

"Pearl! You must be the Robot!" Steven said aloud. "You have to do everything we tell you to do!"

"Ok..." Pearl said sheepishly. She stood up and pretended to be the robot that she was being told to be. "Robo, uh, Pearlbot at your command. What order would you like me to take for you guys, er..., beings today?"

"Uh..." Pearl hesitated but then agreed to do it. "Ok. Let's get started."

At first, no one really knew what to do. Pearl didn't even know how to properly act like a robot. But then Amethyst become interested in this game that Steven was beginning.

"Pearlbot, I want you to turn into an actual robot!"

"Um, how do I do that if I am already a robot?" Pearl asked.

"Figure it out, I dunno."

Pearl then proceeded to try her hardest to actually act like a robot. "Beep. Boop. Bop. Pearlbot at your command. Beep Boop."

"LAME!" Amethyst said aloud.

Garnet then made an attempt to have some fun in this game with Pearl. "Pearlbot, do a back flip."

Pearl responded to the order in which she had been given. She did a back flip. Steven was impressed, as he had never seen Pearl do this before, but Garnet and Amethyst had already seen her doing this, so it came to no real amusement, other than seeing Pearl look a fool. Now it was Steven's turn to give Pearl, who was now going as the name Pearlbot, and order. He wanted this to be a good one. It took some time to think of a good trick, but eventually Steven came up with a good one.

"Pearlbot, bring the President of the United States here!" Steven ordered.

"Um, Steven. I can't bring Donald Trump here."

"Oh come on, I know half of America doesn't like him but-"

"No, Steven," Pearl interjected. "I really can't bring Donald Trump here. I'm a robot, not a magician. I can't just go up to Washington D.C. and bring him here. That's impossible. There are boundaries with gems, too, you know."

Steven frowned. "Ok."

Garnet patted Steven on the back. "There, there." She softly told him.

Just as she did this, the storm outside cleared up. It seemed as if it was finally time for the gems to go into the ocean and face off against the fugitive gem running amok that they hoped to poof and bubble. The four ran off to do their mission.

THE END.

 **Poor Steven. Maybe one day he'll see Trump again.**


	90. Chapter 81

**The season seems to be winding down.** **But don't worry. I enjoy doing these so you can continue expecting more down the road after Season 8 ends.**

Mike Pence Meets Peridot

by thepoliticalsufan37

Peridot sat in her office, looking out the window. Her time as Mayor was not going the way she had hoped and imagined it would go. Instead, she was having a rather rough time doing her job. She needed someone to help guide her through her job as Mayor. Someone who had had more experience than she had had. Someone who had known just how to lead. Someone big. Someone huge. Some with both executive and legislative powers. Some one that was the second most powerful person on the planet. Someone...ahh, you get it.

The Vice President of The United States of America.

Mayor Peridot was excited to finally take some nice advice.

"Mayor Peridot, there's a guest here to see you. I think you'll know who it is." Her aide called to her.

"Yes, I do! Send him on in here!" She excitedly called out.

The door to her office opened. "Greetings Mayor Peridot of beach city." A voice said. It was Mike Pence. The 48th Vice President of the United States. "How are you doing today?"

"Vice President Pence!" She said. "Please, have a seat. I insist!"

Pence did as she requested. It was time for their conversation to begin and time for Pence to give Peridot advice on how to govern.

"So, what can I help you with?"

"Vice President Pence, I seriously need your help. I don't know how to do this job right. Half of Beach City hates my guts! I don't know what to do. Please help me out here!"

"Hm..." Pence said. "What have you tried so far?"

"Everything!" Peridot exclaimed. "EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF! I've tried attacking homeworld, building a wall, signing some tax cuts like Trump, and even delivering a state of the city address! BUT NOTHING WORKS."

"Now, now, calm down. I'm sure you and I can think of something. Have you tried working on bipartisan things?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you tried working on things with both sides in agreement?"

Mayor Peridot was bamboozled. "I don't even know how that can happen."

"Mayor Peridot, try to find something you and the other side can agree on. Then you can work on that one issue alone and maybe if that works out, then your approval rating can see itself go way up. I think that there are some bipartisan deals that you can pass into law. Just agree on it."

Mayor Peridot thought of anything that may come to use. Then it hit her. Her precious wall that she wanted to build. Maybe that would be what she could agree with both sides on. Maybe that one could work.

"I got it!" She said. "How about the wall?"

"That could work." Vice President Pence replied.

"Then I will try to make a bipartisan agreement on the wall! I'll get the wall, and then they can get something back! It will be the perfect negotiation!"

"Good luck, Mayor."

Peridot and Mike Pence shook hands and Pence left the office. She was thankful to have spoken to the Vice President, because now she could make some attempts to work with people on the opposing side of the aisle. This wouldn't be any trouble at all. Only time would tell if she would be fully able to work to get this job done. She hoped for the best.

THE END.

 **Let's see if DACA can be fixed before March 5th. Both sides need to start working together so everyone can be happy. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Season 8 finale tomorrow!**


	91. Chapter 82

**The end of another season has come! Enjoy the finale! Cringe never ends.**

The Minecraft Cringy Chapter

by notchuniverse

The Minecraft Block City world was a beautiful, cube one. Everything was all blocky. The sand was blocks. The dirt was blocks. The people were blocks. The houses were blocks. The clouds were blocks. Even the gems were blocks. You name it, it was a black. The land was nice and peaceful. Happiness was easy to find. Everything was happy and cheery.

In Block City one day, Steven was searching around for supplies. He wanted to show the gems he was the greatest one of them all by being the first one to find coal. For some reason, no one in the town could find any coal. Steven planned to be the first one to find it. Along with him he brought a shovel and a pickaxe. The pickaxe would come to use when he was at stone level.

Steven spent hours on end trying to find the coal. He was beginning to think after some time and effort that maybe he wouldn't be able to find what he was looking for. The half gem block human was considering giving up hope when suddenly...he found it.

There it was. Some nice coal. They said no one would ever find it, and here he was, starring right at the coal. Steven felt so happy. But he also did acknowledge that if anyone in Beach City bothered to put in effort, it would have been easily found. After all, everyone in other towns in the world could easily find coal. It was the ultimate light supply. In Beach City, however, people had to rely on charcoal from trees, and that would actually have set them for life, if it weren't for the fact that Beach City was in a more sandy area, meaning that there were less trees to get these supplies from.

Steven exited his mining area and was ready to go into town to show off what he had found. But then he was stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hey Steven. What's up?"

It was Connie. Steven felt some relief.

"Ehh, nothing much."

Connie instantly noticed what Steven had in his hands. She had it planned in her head. She was going to rob his coal. She walked up to Steven slowly and put her arms around him. Her face got close to his.

"What is this?" Steven said kind of worried and shocked, though another part of him kind of liked this.

"I love you Steven." Connie leaned in and started kissing Steven passionately. The kiss lasted five seconds before she snatched the coal from his hands and ran off.

"HAHA! I GOT YOUR COAL, SUCKER!"

Steven turned fire red.

"DAMN IT!"

He rage quit the game. Connie was laughing heavily. The two were in Steven's bedroom playing Minecraft. "I can't believe you did that Connie!" Steven said upset.

"Oh, calm down. You can get some more." Connie continued to laugh.

Steven was not amused. But he would eventually forgive her.

THE END.

 **And that's all for this Season! I hope you guys enjoyed it. Season 9 is coming this Summer! Until then, I'm danbob521 and this has been Steven Universe Cringy One Shot Madness!**


	92. Mayor Peridot & Yellow Diamond's Summit

**Hello...**

Mayor Peridot & Yellow Diamond's Summit Meeting

by kimjongsteven

Peridot hadn't had much success in trying to make peace with Homeworld in her time as Mayor, but in the last few weeks, things were beginning to change. It all started when Homeworld agreed to stop doing nuclear tests towards Beach City. Then Yellow Diamond had a meeting with E.T., leader of whatever planet he's on now, discussing peace, which made Earth feel as if maybe there was a shot at claiming peace with Homeworld. It seemed like a long shot, but it no longer seemed impossible. And with Mayor Peridot's now improving approval rating (going from mid-30s levels to now hovering around 45%), it would be a really nice looking add-on to try and have talks with Yellow Diamond and further move toward peace along the galaxy.

It took a while, but finally Peridot was able to reach and agreement with Yellow Diamond to meet on Planet Mars, with much security just to be safe. Both landed on Mars and were ready for meeting one another. Peridot was rather nervous. This was someone she'd been working hard to take out for such a long time, and now she would be meeting with her face to face. Likewise, Yellow Diamond was cautiously optimistic, and willing to listen.

The time had come. They were both on an area with a building in the center and desert for a few miles. Mayor Peridot and Yellow Diamond walked toward each other, then were face to face, in front of cameras. A crowd of Martians were watching the two. They were nervous, hoping that the best would come. What Peridot didn't know however was this- in Homeworld, when greeting a Gem, they had to kiss, by new policy recently added. So you could imagine Peridot's shock when Yellow Diamond swiftly leaned in and gave Peridot a kiss on the lips.

"WHAT THE-"

"It's our new planet greeting. Don't think too much of it." Yellow Diamond responded before Peridot could finish.

After this, the two went inside the building and had their meeting. A couple hours later, after the meeting was done, Peridot and Yellow Diamond both headed back toward their planets and Peridot was still shocked, but from everything that had been said at the meeting, and the fact that a meeting had even happened to begin with, gave the green gem some hope for everlasting peace in the future.

Time would tell.

STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGY ONE SHOT MADNESS, SEASON 9

07-16-2018


	93. Chapter 83

**Season 9, people. Season 9. We've come so far. I honestly don't know how I've been doing this for so long but I guess commitment goes a long way. Enjoy these ten chapters!**

Steven And Connie Go To The Moon

by shortjasper

Steven and Connie were sitting in Steven's room bored. This seemed to be a common thing more recently. Life just wasn't as fun as it used to be before. At this point, even kissing in a rather cringe-worthy way didn't seem like fun. And that's basically what kept whatever nonexistent flow there was going. Everything had just kind of run its course.

"Hey, Connie?" Steven asked.

"Yeah?" Connie replied.

"Do you feel as if something we were a part of has gone stale at this point?"

Connie thought for a moment. "Kind of, but what would we be a part of that wasn't likely some bizarre cartoon?"

"I don't know," Steven shrugged. "Possibly something. I just feel like in some alternative universe, we've run dry."

"Hmm...maybe."

Suddenly, Steven and Connie heard a loud windy sound intensify outside the temple. It was so random but so shocking. Both ran outside to check what was going on. Then they saw exactly what made the noise. It was a rocket, right in front of them. Somehow, this didn't seem as surprising at it should have seemed, but still pretty intriguing.

"Why is there a rocket here?" Connie asked rather annoyed.

"I don't know." Said Steven. "A better question, is who brought it here?"

The door to the rocket opened, and out walked Elon Musk.

"ELON MUSK?" Both Steven and Connie shouted simultaneously.

"Yup, kids. It's me. Elon Musk! I'm enjoying myself in space a lot and I figured I could take along a couple kids with me to the moon for some odd reason? What do you say kids? Yes? We'll let's go!"

And with that, Steven and Connie were on a rocket heading to space, and potentially to the moon. They had no idea what was the point of all this, but whatever it was, it had to be good. Or not. "What do you think we'll see on the moon?" Connie asked Steven. "I don't know," Steven responded. "Moon stuff? No idea." The two SHOULD have been dazed that Elon Musk randomly showed up to take them to the moon, but for some reason they just weren't. It anything, it felt like this wasn't the most bizarre thing to ever happen to them.

The rocket, after about 20 minutes, landed on the moon, and Steven and Connie were in astronaut suits, bouncing around the moon. It was quite an interesting sight to see. The moon was quite a place. And seeing Earth from this distance was breathtaking. This had been quite an interesting journey.

"Wow. The moon sure is cool." Said Steven.

"Yup." Connie replied.

Both looked down to Earth, and just starred for a bit, trying to fathom the fact that they randomly went to the moon and somehow were now on it looking at the planet that they lived on. It sure was beautiful, but very tedious.

"You ready to go back home?" Steven asked Connie, breaking the silence.

"More than anything else." She replied.

And both went back home. The rest of the day was pretty boring.

THE END.

 **Next chapter tomorrow! And no, it won't be as self-referential as this one was. I promise.**


	94. Chapter 84

**Heads up, this one's kind of gross. Read if you dare. :)**

Steven's Diarrhea Attack

by weepingquartzhole34

Steven was playing video games. He was finally about to get a victory royale in Fortnite. And he was really close to hitting level 100 in XP for the season. But there was something that was seemingly getting in the half gem's way. He felt a slight pain in his stomach, that only seemed to build up as the time went by. But Steven did his best to ignore whatever he was feeling. He had a game to complete. Steven had an Epic Pistol only, with thirty bullets left and had somehow made it into ninth place, where he currently stood at the moment. He was in a dangerous position but was determined to have this ultimate victory once and for all.

A player ran past Steven in the game, unknowing of Steven being right there, and he didn't pass up the advantage to eliminate this other player. Now in eighth place, Steven Universe was one step closer to having a Fortnite victory, and this was gonna be amazing. But right into his celebration, the stomach pain came back in a little bit larger level of pain. It was becoming very hard to avoid this feeling, but Steven had to hold on tight and resist the urge to leave to use the bathroom. He'd have time to do this after getting a victory royale.

Steven got two more kills, and propelled his way into sixth place, albeit now running low on bullets, with twelve left. Steven would have to be on the defense now until it was only him against one other player. And somehow, Steven managed to let the other players kill each other before it was only him and one other left. Steven would have to act swift. Steven and the other player were coming head to head, running toward each other with their guns. Steven didn't hesitate. He repeatedly shot the other player with his player, until he eliminated this person.

"VICTORY ROYALE" flashed on Steven's TV screen. He had finally done it. "YES! I FINALLY DID IT!" Steven cried.

But this celebration was short lived, as about five seconds into it, Steven felt something rather liquid, yet solid like run down his pants. He immediately knew what had happened.

Steven dashed out of his room and ran straight into the bathroom where he quickly sat down on the toilet and almost every single bit of his stomach ache was inserted into the toilet. Whatever he had eaten before, it was finally out and the pain was gone. This was honestly the best relief Steven had felt in his life. He was refreshed. So refreshed in fact, that he found this as the perfect opportunity to take a shower. He already had his night time clothes set on top of the sink table. And so he took a nice shower.

This shower lasted a good half hour, and Steven enjoyed every bit of it. He felt like he had the whole entire world in his hands. Steven had finally found peace with his last name. He began to assume that this was why his last name was Universe, so he could be at peace with it one day.

After this shower ended, Steven pulled over the curtains and stepped right out of the tub...

...and into some of his diarrhea.

"GROSS!" Steven screamed in horror. His foot was inside of his own fecal matter. He now had become one with HELL.

"WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?" Steven was now completely panicked. This was becoming more disgusting and more hard to handle. This must have been what was in his pants to begin with. Steven needed to figure out a way to rid himself of this. But it was seemingly impossible. There was slim to no toilet paper left, and walking outside would have only caused the fecal matter to spread to other parts of the temple. Steven was in between a rock and a hard place.

There needed to be some way out of this predicament. But what? Steven tried to thing long and hard, but to no avail. His mind was in pure panic mode and not willing to be rational. But that wouldn't be an issue, because a giant flash had happened.

Steven looked down to see that the his liquid stool was no longer on his foot or even on the floor. He began to relax as he realized what had happened. His gem must have neutralized all of this.

And so it seemed that all of his issues were gone. Steven returned to his tv screen, hoping to see that he had leveled up to level 100 in Fortnite, where he wanted to be. And the victory royale had propelled him up...to just ONE XP point below where he wanted to be.

"DARN IT!"

THE END.

 **Yeah...I know. New chapter tomorrow.**


	95. Chapter 85

**Welcome to another cringeworthy chapter! If you think this sucks...yeah, you're probably right.**

The Least Confusing One Shot Ever

by lazaruseffectred43 (I couldn't think of a better fake username to put...so...)

Onion was walking down the street when he saw another Onion. Onion looked very sad and very tired, but also very lonely. Onion wanted to help out Onion because of just how sad he was feeling, but didn't know what to do. But it was ok, because Onion had an Onion in his pocket to help out with the situation at hand. This Onion would help Onion cheer Onion up. Hopefully.

Onion walked up to Onion and showed him this Onion. Onion seemed to take a giant interest in the Onion that Onion held in his hand. Onion took the Onion out of Onion's hand and began to make believe ball it up. But Onion was kind of irritated that Onion took his Onion without asking. Sure, it made Onion happy, but Onion could have at least asked Onion before taking it out of Onion's hand. Now Onion was going to have to kill Onion's improving mental state to ask him to give him his Onion back that he held in his hand.

He asked for it back, struggled, and then Onion ran. Onion chased Onion like there was no tomorrow. Onion began catching up to Onion, who had the Onion in his hand. Onion was trying to ensure he got as far away from Onion as possible so that he would burn out and stop chasing him, but that just wasn't the case. Onion was as fast as ever, and Onion began to wonder how much longer he could keep running before he himself burned out.

Onion managed to get as far as the beach where Onion was en route. Things were getting really tense in this chase. But Onion managed to pull of something incredibly smart. Onion threw the Onion at Onion's head, knocking him out.

Onion had won.

 **Have fun trying to figure out which Onion won. New chapter tomorrow.**


	96. Chapter 86

**You know, sometimes the greatest things in life are achieved through failure. Whenever I fail to come up with a good chapter idea, I achieve an idea so bad that it's good. That's what yesterday's was all about. Anyways, enjoy this one.**

Lapis Makes Imaginary Moon Friends

by barngemlover

Ever since fleeing Earth, Lapis had been alone at the barn on the moon. The days were lonely, but she couldn't return to Earth. That departure was one that was hard to overcome. She'd be staying on the moon for quite a bit, and it wasn't by choice. She wanted to return to Earth. She really did. But she just couldn't.

So for the time being, the blue gem decided to improvise. She was going to make replicas of all of the friends she had made back down on Beach City. For Steven, she'd use a Watermelon with dots drawn on it for eyes. For Peridot, she'd use a a bunch of pears glued together to kind of come close to looking like her former gem friend. And for Lion, well...she'd just have to make do without that for now. These were the only two that mattered, after all.

One night, she decided it was time to have a talk with imaginary Peridot. But she'd need to have Steven away for that. It was just going to be between her and Peridot talking.

"Steven, I need you to step outside." Peridot told Watermelon Steven.

She kicked the watermelon out of the barn. Now she could talk to the lump of pears Peridot.

"Peridot, listen," Lapis began. "We have to talk about ongoing things. We just must. I feel like there's a lot we should say that we just aren't able to."

The Pears did not respond.

"Oh come on please. I know I abruptly left you, but I just want you to forgive me. I love you."

The Pears continued to say nothing. Lapis was now getting frustrated.

"Please. I just want to explain my reasoning!"

The silence did not cease. If anything, it grew. Lapis hit her limit. She could no longer contain the growing anger she had built up inside of her.

"FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAYS." Lapis punched the lump of Pears that made up her make believe Peridot repeatedly. She continued to punch until there was nothing but mush. When her arm finally tired out, Lapis had ridden herself of her imaginary Peridot in a very gruesome manner. When the anger was gone, she realized what she had just done. But it was useless to be upset over someone who wasn't even there to ignore Lapis to begin with.

Lapis crawled into a corner in a dark part of the barn and sat with her head down crying. She felt so alone. More alone than ever before. It was like there was no one who could help because no one was even around.

This was an everyday thing for Lapis now.

THE END.

 **Hope you enjoyed this one. I tried something new here, which is why it may seem different from others. Another new one tomorrow!**


	97. Chapter 87

**Welcome to the midpoint of Season 9! Enjoy.**

The Steven Effect

by lazarusfx

Steven walked into a the big donut, hoping for a nice enjoyable donut to eat. As he walked in, he felt a giant wave of air throw him up into the sky. "WHAT THE-" Steven shouted as he was propelled so far up, only to fall so fall down onto the ground, landing with a hard thud that would have killed anyone else, but for some reason kept him alive, much to his confusion.

"NOW THAT'S JUST THE STEVEN EFFECT!" Lars said after walking outside to see Steven on the ground.

"What the what? What is that?" Steven asked, but Lars said nothing and went back inside.

The half gem, half human was incredibly confused. But he let it go and went on with his day. Steven decided to go to the arcade now so he could play some nice video games. As he inserted a quarter into one of the arcade machines, the quarter was in there for a moment, before getting jammed and making weird sounds before spitting out and hitting Steven right in the face and then shooting straight through the ceiling and out of the arcade's roof.

"NOW THAT'S JUST THE STEVEN EFFECT!" Steven heard Ronaldo say from outside the arcade.

"WHAT EVEN IS THAT?" Steven said, a little frustrated now that he'd been hurt twice today and that two people were saying things that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. That was it. Steven was going home.

When Steven walked into the temple, he was immediately greeted with a bunch of water to the face by Amethyst. "Hey, Steevo! Enjoy your day out there?"

"Amethyst! You ruined my favorite shirt!"

"Oops. Sorry. I was just trying to have some fun, ya know?"

"Ahem," Pearl interrupted the two. "I guess you can say...THAT'S JUST THE STEVEN EFFECT!"

Both Pearl and Amethyst had a good laugh about this. But Steven was just about ready to pop. Three times now some random inconvenience had hit Steven for no reason and everyone who saw it responded with a stupid line. This was it. Steven needed answers. And now.

"WHAT IS THE STEVEN EFFECT!?" Steven shouted.

But Pearl and Amethyst kept laughing, until they were both melted down to liquid puddles. And then the rest of the temple metled into liquid. And then every single aspect of reality melted out of sight. And finally...Steven was alone. In a pitch black area.

"WHERE DID I GO?" He shouted panicked.

Suddenly, someone walked up to Steven. It was a medium sized kid with brown hair and glasses, wearing a Gorillaz sweatshirt. Him and Steven were face to face. "Hello, Steven. I'm here to tell you all about the Steven effect. Basically, it's anything that could possibly happen. Anything that happens, it's the Steven effect. When you breathe, it's the Steven effect. When you drink, it's the Steven effect. Hell, when you EAT, it's the Steven effect. Anything, LITERALLY anything is the Steven effect."

Steven was relaxed now. "Oh. Ok."

"Alright. Time to go home. Hope you enjoy your day and life." And thus, Steven was sent back home. The rest of the day was pretty normal for Steven.

And that's just the Steven effect.

THE END.

 **Five more chapters to go. Halfway through this season already. I guess it's just the Steven effect. :)**


	98. Chapter 88

**When in doubt, do something about that. Enjoy.**

Too Many Gems

by againimoutofideasforfakenicknamesbutillhaveanewonetomorrowithink

Homeworld had a bit of an issue on it's hands. Sure, it was progressing with building its weapons, but there was one moderate issue. There was a lot of overpopulation. In a few short years the population of gems had gone from five hundred million to four billion. And both Blue and Yellow Diamond were frustrated with their failures to come up with solutions to it.

"You know we can't keep it like this, right?" Yellow Diamond said. "I know, but it's wrong to just kill them." Blue Diamond replied.

"Well then, what do you suppose we do?"

Blue Diamond thought for a moment. But as hard as she tried, she couldn't come up with a good solution to the problem at hand. It was just too complex. Overpopulation was a hard thing to deal with after all.

"Gosh, I can't think of a single thing." Blue Diamond said, much to her fellow Diamond's frustration. Yellow Diamond had had enough of not having ideas. She was going to go with the extreme route. She was gonna find a way to get rid of half of the planet's population, and without snapping them away.

After a few days, she found the perfect way to rid all the gems. She was going to teach Earth a lesson. Yellow Diamond began to maniacally laugh to herself. How did she not think of this one before?

A few days later, Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond made an announcement for every gem to hear.

"ATTENTION ALL GEMS. IT HAS RECENTLY COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THE POPULATION OF THIS PLANET IS GROWING BY AN ALARMING RATE. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. BUT THERE ARE NO WORRIES, AS YOUR DIAMONDS HAVE COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS THAT WILL WORK. EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, HALF OF THE GEMS ON THIS PLANET WILL BE CHOSEN BY RANDOM TO BE SENT OFF THIS PLANET AND TO EARTH. THIS IS THE PERFECT PLAN TO DOOM PLANET EARTH. MAY YOU ALL HAVE A NICE TIME."

The next day, two billion gems were deported off of homeworld and were headed towards Earth. This would be sure to finally doom Earth and cause the great war Yellow Diamond was yearning for.

 **The storm is on its way. This series/story will soon take quite a turn. Be ready for it. But in the meantime...hope you enjoyed this chapter and enjoy the next one tomorrow. :)**


	99. Chapter 89

**Welcome back. Enjoy this chapter while I go think about life.**

Greg's Sleep Problems

by creemgal

Note: This takes place before Steven is born.

Sleeping is something that Greg enjoyed very much in his life. It was his second favorite thing, right behind rocking away on his guitar, while selling less than five copies a week doing so. Sleeping was an amazing thing for him, but recently there had been quite an issue. Greg just couldn't sleep. He would take a couple hours to get to sleep and when he finally DID sleep, it only lasted 4-6 hours before he woke up incredibly tired. Greg might not have been sleeping, but this sure was a nightmare. Tireless nights and nights went on and on. Greg needed help and fast.

Naturally, there was only one person he could see himself going to, and technically this wasn't even a person, this was a gem. Rose Quartz, to be exact. Greg walked to the temple, where he saw Rose starting peacefully into the sound.

"Hey, Rose. I need you right now by like a lot." Greg said.

"Sure, love. What's wrong?" Rose blissfully said to Greg. The tone of her voice alone made Greg feel calmer already.

"I've been having this insane issue. I just can't sleep. I've tried to get some, but it's so hard. I think I might be an insomniac. I don't know what to do. Do you think there's anything you can do to help?"

Rose thought for a moment. She had some ideas, luckily for Greg. She looked at Greg and opened her arms. "Come here."

Greg listened. He walked into Rose's arms and the two hugged. Greg was certainly relaxing, though he still didn't know what this would do to cure his insomnia. Then suddenly, Rose looked right into Greg's eyes and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was incredibly passionate and it felt so comfortable for both Greg and Rose. Greg loved the feeling of the kiss, but he didn't have too much time to think about it, as he then passed out. In fact, he was out cold.

When Rose had kissed Greg, she used the power of her Gem to heal his brain, which had a hypothalamus that was in needed much recovery. And through the use of her spit, she was able to activate this power. She smiled as she saw Greg finally sleeping. She'd do anything for her love.

And one day, if she had an offspring by any chance, the healing power through spit would be passed down to higher potential.

THE END.

 **A chapter that made me cringe so hard it took nearly thirty minutes to write it. Just like the good old days.**


	100. Chapter 90

**So this one is kind of inspired by a common thing.**

Netflix And Steven

by goldanddiamond

Steven was constructing a card house that he was very confidant would be able to stand well. So far, his progress on it was actually pretty decent. No errors as of yet. But of course, that changed.

Connie appeared in Steven's room. "STEVEN, YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!" She said excitedly.

Steven's card house tumbled town due to the impact of Connie's voice. Steven was kind of mad that his card house had fallen, but Connie potentially had news more worth the while than what he was constructing so Steven gave a listen. "What's the news?" He asked her.

"Every episode of Crying Breakfast Friends is on netflix!"

Steven burst up in giant excitement. His favorite show now had every single episode available on Netflix, which he had. This truly was a happy day for him. "SERIOUSLY? LET'S BINGE IT RIGHT NOW!"

"HECK YEAH!" Connie excitedly replied.

So Steven and Connie watched a good amount of crying breakfast friends. It started with five episodes, then ten, and then a whole season. After that, they headed into the second season. And then after that, they found themselves smack dab in the middle of the third season.

Connie was the first to realize this. "Steven, how long have we been watching?"

"Ehh. Does it matter?" Steven replied.

"Yeah, good point." Connie said.

 **THREE WEEKS LATER**

20 seasons in. 7 more to go. Just a few more days. And Steven and Connie were going to watch all of it. They were determined to. They had created a brand new schedule. 24/7 sitting. At 5:00PM everyday would be the only time they'd get up, to get food to bring into Steven's room and then use the bathroom. They made sure to drink as little liquid as possible, to be able to last a while without going to the bathroom.

They were going to make it through this whole entire show, and nothing would stop it. Steven and Connie were very much into all of the show.

"Hey Steven?" Connie asked.

"Yeah?" Steven said back.

"How long have we been watching this?"

"Not long enough."

"Good point."

 **THE NEXT DAY**

Day 22 of their watching began. The show had taken quite in emotional turn in the last few seasons, far from ever before. It was truly interesting to see just how some food items could have such stories to have told about them. It was such a good story that it kept Steven and Connie into it for the full ride. It would soon be over, but it was all worth it.

 **SIX DAYS LATER**

Steven and Connie were now watching the series finale of Crying Breakfast Friends. It was going to get really good from this point on. The final kiss between the two main characters was going to happen. They were getting married after all their adventures. And when the wedding was complete, the series finale concluded.

"Wow. That was awesome." Connie said.

"Yup." Steven replied. "Thanks for telling me about this. This was an amazing binge."

Steven and Connie breifly held hands, and entered the moment. They both leaned in and were about to share a nice, loving, passionate kiss.

And then right before that could happen, both passed out. And they stayed asleep for a good three days.

THE END.

 **This was quite fun to write. Next one tomorrow!**


	101. Chapter 91

**Penultamite chapter of the season. Enjoy.**

Garnet's Apple Lust

by lapisloverextremist

Garnet and Steven were walking through Beach City's new apple garden. There were all sorts of fresh apples to be seen. Steven took a bite out of an apple that tasted so sweet, he felt like it was enough to make him go up to heaven like an angel. He insisted to Garnet to try one. At first she was hesitant, but she couldn't fend off against Steven's pressuring and begging.

"Come on Garnet. You'll like it!" Steven said.

"Alright. Let's have a taste." Garnet then took a bite. It was the greatest thing she could have ever tasted. Even as a fusion, she felt like this made her one.

Garnet needed to have more. No, not just more. A BUNCH more. She needed all of it. The apples were the only thing she wanted to live for now.

Garnet ate a bunch of more apples. "THESE ARE AWESOME!" She said.

"I knew you'd like them." Steven said, beaming.

Mr. Smiley came up to both Steven and Garnet. "You guys like them apples?" Steven and Garnet both nodded.

"GOOD, BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO PAY UP GOOD MONEY FOR THAT!"

Both of them stopped feeling so happy. Without thinking, Garnet punched so hard that he ended up falling on the floor passed out. Then, Steven and Garnet grabbed as many apples as they could and ran out of the apple garden before someone saw what had just happened.

A few years later, Garnet would marry one of the apples and it would add on to the fusion. And they lived happily ever after.

THE END.

 **SEASON 9 FINALE TOMORROW!**


	102. Chapter 92

**Season 9 finale time, guys. Enjoy!**

Steven Laughs For Eternity

by gloryglorystevie

Mayor Peridot needed to think of a way to get people to start being happy for the whole time of her being Mayor of beach city. Recently, she'd been working on a drug that people would take and it would make them feel happy. The only risky side effect would be that they would laugh for an extended period of time. But that was a risk that Peridot was able to take, if it would make people feel better about her leadership. Overall, however, her biggest issue was this: she had no one to test this new drug on. Until today, that was. She thought her good old friend Steven Universe would be up to help her with her new experiment which would help the town.

Mayor Peridot went to the temple, and knocked on the door. Steven answered the door.

"Hey, Peridot! What are you doing here?" He asked her.

"Hello Steven. I hope you are doing well. May I come in?" She responded.

Steven nodded and let her in. This must have been some kind of important business. Why else would she be here then?

"So, what's going on, Mayor?"

Peridot told Steven her reason for being there. Steven found it intriguing. "Feel free to test whatever that thing is on me!" He said. "Are you sure? It might not work, and could have potentially unwanted side effects."

"Don't worry. I have enough fuuuunnnnnkkkkyyyy fllllloooooowwwww to handle it." Steven said gleefully and somewhat arrogantly.

"Alright, If you say so. Hold still."

Peridot got out a needle from her pocket and injected her new creation into Steven's arm. She hoped for the best.

"Nice. It didn't kill you so there's that fear gone."

Steven didn't act any different at all, however. So Peridot assumed it didn't work now.

"Is anything gonna happen now?" Steven said.

"I don't know. Do you feel any happier?" She replied.

"I just feel the same as before. Maybe this needs more work."

Peridot felt bad now. Maybe was there was no true way to please the people that were hellbent on not liking her. It would just be one more thing that she would have to deal with, even if she didn't want to. That likely could have been the case, but that's not what ended up happening. What DID end up happening was something far more sinister.

Steven began to chuckle. Then that chuckle turned into a giant giggle. Then that giant giggle turned into quite the laugh. Steven was laughing uncontrollably. Peridot was kind of glad that her drug kind of worked, but was worried for her friend. If his laugh was permanent, it could potentially cause breathing issues.

"Steven, are you alright?" She asked, very concerned.

"THERE'S A GATORADE BOTTLE OVER THERE!" Steven pointed to the window.

Peridot looked and saw an orange bottle of gatorade. It looked full. Yet Peridot did not know what Steven found so funny about this. It was just a bottle of Gatorade. Nothing was even remotely special about it.

Peridot safelt let herself out of the temple and hoped that Steven would eventually stop laughing at some point. But after she left, Steven kept on laughing and laughing. He was really getting a kick out of a gatorade bottle. The bottle just made Steven laugh. Everytime he looked at it, the laughs kept coming more and more. Steven could not stop dissolving into laughter every single moment he even thought of the bottle of gatorade. Steven laughed all through the night and all through the day. There was likely no moment where Steven wasn't laughing. Mayor Peridot went to check on Steven two days later and still saw him on the floor laughing at a gatorade bottle for no reason whatsoever.

She had to do something. So she developed a brand new drug. It would reverse the effects of the most recent drug she'd created and make Steven stop laughing. She went back to the temple with her new drug and injected Steven with it.

For a few seconds he continued to laugh, but then he stopped. All of a sudden, Steven became depressed. He felt as if life was meaningless and had no purpose.

"Are you okay, buddy?" She asked Steven.

"Yeah, it's just...the gatorade bottle. Everytime I even think of it, I feel like there's no point in being in this world, galaxy, or universe. Or even multiverse. Or even anything beyond that."

Peridot gave Steven a hug. "Don't worry, Steven. It's ok."

She left the temple and went back to her office. Her serum needed more work.

And gatorade bottles are funny.

THE END.

 **So...a Steven Universe movie has been confirmed. I guess one thing is for sure, the next season won't be the end of this. I'm adding an eleventh season to this one-shot series. So there's still more to come in the future. Look forward to it! See you guys again in a few months for Season 10! Until next time, I'm danbob521, and this has been Steven Universe Cringy One-Shot Madness!**


	103. Steven Eats A Steven 2

**Steven Eats A Steven 2**

 **THREE WEEKS LATER…**

 **Steven was bored. Luckily, he remembered a few weeks ago when he ate a Steven and it created quite a party. So he figured today he would do the same thing again. But this time, with a special twist. He wasn't going to eat a Steven, he was going to DRINK a Steven.**

 **So Steven decided to drink a Steven. And then that Steven drank a Steven. And then the next Steven drank 20 stevens. The taste of the Stevens was so good, in fact, that it attracted 500 Stevens to the Stevens with a bunch of cups to drink the Stevens.**

 **Steven took a sip from the universe. And the universe took a sip from Steven. And then Steven decided to drink the universe. And the universe was liquid Steven.**

 **And then the 500 Stevens got 500 more Stevens and drank the Stevens. And then the Stevens got 1,000 Stevens and turned them from solid Stevens to liquid Stevens and gassed those Stevens. It was even crazier than last time. But then it got even crazier.**

 **Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant Gatorade bottle appeared and was incredibly angry.**

 **"HOW DARE YOU NOT DRINK ME AND ONLY DRINK STEVENS!"**

 **So then the Gatorade bottle decided to drink half of the Stevens. But it was okay because then the Stevens decided to drink the Gatorade bottle. And the Gatorade bottle was defeated. The Stevens then went back to drinking all of the Stevens.**

 **This Steven fest was becoming quite troublesome. Steven had to put an end to it. But he knew they wouldn't listen, so he devised an amazing plan.**

 **"EVERYONE, ARE YOU READY TO STEVEN?"**

 **The Stevens then melted, and Steven drank all of them. The Steven drinkery thus came to an end.**

 **It was a happy ending and Shrek decided to eat a swamp.**

 **THE END.**


	104. The Attack Of Steven Series

The Attack Of Steven-Seires

by Piediepew

In all of her time as Mayor, Peridot had not been ready for what was to come. But once she found out about this ultimate attack, she knew it was finally time. Of all her battles before, this was the one that was the most prominent. It was finally time to strike down who she now knew was her greatest enemy. It was finally time, after all these years, to strike.

Peridot stepped up to her podium outside of the Town Hall, and began to make her announcement to the people, broadcast on TV.

"PEOPLE OF BEACH CITY, THE TIME HAS HAS COME! WE MUST NOW FIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

Peridot then cleared her throat, and began to make her full speech.

"NO MORE WILL I BE APOLOGIZING FOR THINGS I DO. NO MORE WILL I BE TRYING TO RESIGN FROM OFFICE. NO MORE WILL I BE SAYING 'I'M SORRY FOR MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH AT A GATORADE BOTTLE' OR 'I'M GONNA TRY TO MAKE PEACE WITH HOMEWORLD' BECAUSE THAT ALL IS COMING TO AN END TODAY, I TELL YOU! AND WHY YOU MIGHT ASK?"

The camera then zoomed in on Peridot's face.

"BECAUSE WE'RE LOSING, PEOPLE. MY TWEETS AREN'T BOOSTING US UP! ANOTHER TWITTER USER IS GROWING AND CATCHING UP!"

Many viewers who didn't pay attention to twitter follower statistics, and average Joes were shocked to hear this.

"THAT'S RIGHT EVERYONE. IN ABOUT 20 DAYS FROM TODAY, I WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE MOST FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I AM NUMBER ONE!"

Suddenly, Lars walked up behind Peridot.

"But Mayor Peridot, Stefan Karl Stefansson said-"

"I DON'T CARE. GO AWAY LARS!"

Lars then walked away, and Peridot continued making her statement. She had to drive the point all the way home.

"NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING, WHO IS ON TRACK TO PASS US ON TWITTER? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. THE ACCOUNT NAME IS STEVENUNIVERSE. HE'S CURRENTLY SITTING ON 64 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS TO OUR 67 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS AND RAPIDLY GROWING! HE AIMS TO DETHRONE US BIG AND WE CAN NOT ALLOW THIS!"

Peridot then took a drink of water from her water bottle and continued.

"THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THIS ACCOUNT IS TO SMASH FOLLOW! WE HAVE TO SMASH FOLLOW! WHEN YOU HAVEN'T FOLLOWED ME YET ON TWITTER, YOU JUST SMASH FOLLOW! IT'S ALL YOU DO! SMASH FOLLOW TO KEEP MAYOR PERIDOT THE MOST FOLLOWED TWITTER ACCOUNT! YOU MUST DO IT!"

And with that, she ended her statement. Beach City now knew what they had to do. But would it work?

Probably not.

THE END.

 **STEVEN UNIVERSE CRINGY ONE-SHOT MADNESS, SEASON 10!**

 **10-27-18**


End file.
